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Eric Gasparich
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Thomas Mccarthy
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Sailor Moon Diaries
by Paul Kangas (Age: 18)
copyright 08-05-2003


Age Rating: 10 to 127


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New Date Review by
07-16 Toni Sweeney

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Pic Praise Date Ages Chapter and Description
06-27-03 10 to 127 Chapter 2 Secrets
06-26-03 10 to 127 Chapter 1 scout diaries
07-09-2003 Victoria Medley    

The idea behind this work is a good one, what better way to get a look into the senshi's minds than by reading there diaries? Unfortunately, the idea is made less profound by the style you carry it out with. Instead of making each chapter very small entries from each scout, maybe each chapter should be several entries from one scout in particular. The next chapter would be a different scout, and so on.

The reason for this is simple: Character Development. We should be able to see their thoughts and their dreams. Hearing them exclaim about boys all the time and offhandishly wondering what might happen next, isn't who people are. Sure, in your diary, you write that sometimes but you get deeper into it. For example, Serena might be having trouble with her parents because she keeps coming home late at night because of battles. Or, Raye might be having premonitions that keep her from being able to sleep well, or Minako has bruises all over her body from the fights that she's trying to hide from her mother. Things like this keep people interested. The scouts shouldn't be bimbos, they should be people. Teenage girls who worry about boys, school, tv shows etc, but also the future of the world. Who have normal problems and extraordinary problems.

I look forward to seeing how this develops, and how well you portray the scouts. My comments weren't meant to be overly critical. ^^;; So don't take it that way, just trying to help some! ^_^
Reads: 1369
Comments: 1

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