Help Us Stop Plagiarism -
Nearly all works at PnP are original. However a few people choose to plagiarize.
To check, choose a phrase from the work, then either drag and drop to the search box or copy and paste.
click on search and works at Google will be shown which match. Just to be sure, please do this before
you recommend or rate the work highly...
This may sound weird, but while reading this, I imagined men playing cards on a boat, while a storm raged outside. I'm not sure why that image popped into my head, but it did, and I can't shake it. I like it, though.
I also like the seemingly 'randomness' of the poem, punctuation and capitalization wise. Not sure if it were intentional or not, but I think it adds to the uncertainty of a storm, and even of playing cards. A kind of luck is there for both.
I really liked this piece. I've always liked poetic-prose and try to write that way when I choose to write poetry.
So we have a poetic piece of prose writing or a prose piece of poetic writing. Either way, the tale you tell is a bit more chilling and sad than that of a card game. But my "salty pen" is out today and hungry to be heard and wants to be fed. It is thinking that every line of every stanza should have the end punctuation removed. Except for the period at the end and the one that ends in a question mark. It is also thinking that the capitals aren't consistent. Children, yes. God, yes. The other lines might be better served by staying in lower case. In-line punctuation my pen can't find fault with or be picky about.
This is a very dark poem with a very dark subject and handled as a master would: allowing the reader to find what he/she wishes. The images are very powerful. The textures, excellent. No one should open themselves up to this poem, too much, I think. They may find their souls in danger. Or at the least, shed a tear or three.
Forgive the length of this critique, my pen won't be obedient at all, today.
Welcome !
