(For those not aware, your host here at Prose-n-Poetry was a regular columnist for a monthly Florida Keys Magazine named "Time Out" This is one of those columns - The monthly column was entitled "Marine Life")
"The Little Brown Building"
“Don’t let ‘em tear,
That little brown building down.
Don’t let ‘em tear,
That little brown building down.
Don’t let ‘em tear,
That little brown building down.
For there’s not another like it
in the country or the town !”
Click Here to Listen to
Ode_to_the_Little_Brown_Shack_Out_Back
Perhaps I’m the only ‘old fart’ (read 'mature man' for the high-brow readers) that can remember that song. Kingston Trio I think, late fifties, maybe early sixties. Might have been one of the other ‘Folk Groups” popular at the time. Mmmm, after some research I found that it was Billy Edd Wheeler who originally wrote and sang it. The name of the song is: Ode to the Little Brown Shack Out Back.
Seems a construction crew was gonna tear down an outhouse. For those of you too young to remember anything but sanitary, hygienic indoor plumbing, an outhouse didn’t refer to just a building out back but it was an institution that came fully equipped with a Sears and Roebuck catalogue for perusing or whatever else you might be inclined to use the pages for. A ‘slop bucket’ was used in cold climates in the winter as the sort-of answer to indoor plumbing.
So where did your crazy writer (me) get the idea for this one? Well, since moving out of the third world (The Florida Keys) into real civilization, Goodland, Florida, I have found a job working in construction… and doing what? I’m really glad you thought to ask... You guessed it, I’m now a plumber, or at least trying to be one.
For Gawd Sakes Bob, what has this got to do with Marine Life? Hmm… bear with me… I’m trying to write an article... I’ll get you there, I promise. Now where was I?
Ahh yes, “Little Brown Building.” Well the Kingston Trio and the whole world can rejoice because this particular nostalgic part of America has not left our culture. The brown of barn-board has given way to high tech fiberglass in various colors, green being a favorite.
You can see these marvels of our high-technology at any construction site. But truthfully, they are best viewed from a distance and not so close up. They become quite a bit more ‘colorful’ as you get close, so colorful in fact that they often make your eyes water. John, a co-worker came out of one the other day while I was waiting my turn and I noticed he had tears in his eyes. Now, everyone knows that big, tough construction workers never cry so I just asked him if his humid eyes were because it brought back nostalgic memories of the ‘little brown building’ of his youth. John stopped dead, silently glared at me through slitted eyes and hasn’t spoken since.
Yet another wonderful difference is that the old style building was rooted in place. The modern versions are often piggy-backed on trucks and carried from place to place… little green buildings on the move.
The old style was occasionally serviced by a ‘honey dipper.’ Again for the youngsters, that was a person akin to the nearly extinct chimney sweep who would shovel the excess out from time to time. Mother Nature took care of quite a bit through natural processes. The modern ‘honey dipper’ is of necessity as high tech as his new charge. He uses a truck which is actually a very large vacuum cleaner and he puts rolls of toilet paper in place since Sears and Roebuck catalogues are rather hard to find these days.
Ok, Ok so again what has this to do with Marine Life. Well, I was in a bar the other day and a lady looked at me and said, “... all those boaters crapping in the water..!” I turned, gave her my best dead-pan smile and asked her if she had ever seen a manatee fecus. Her face went blank, she stared at her beer for a minute then said, “I see your point.” I quickly added that in my opinion, the Florida Marine Patrol would be considerably better employed by spending whatever time and money it takes to diaper the dolphins and manatees who are, after all, mammals also. The lady smiled, picked up her beer, turned 180 on the barstool then sauntered off to the other end of the bar and started chatting with a fellow who had a voice like Tiny Tim. I checked my armpits. Nope, the deodorant was still working.
Well, I guess there are better lines than that one if you’d like to impress a lady. However my solitude gave me time to fully examine the matter. We all know that boaters are a problem, well actually a solution also. If we blame them for the green water, the eco-nuts will leave our cesspits (and us) alone. We can continue business as usual and use the boaters as scapegoats. A few beers and we can convince ourselves that it is really true.
So, to make a long story short(er) A few more beers and I was really brainstorming. How about those little green buildings. I bet we could put one on the back end of each boat and then we would have perfect sanitation. I think I had a few more ideas last night but this morning, I have this terrible headache and I feel like I’ve been run over by a semi, carrying a load of porta-potties. Does anyone at “Chuckles Tiki Bar” remember what I said last night after the three tequila sunrises? And if so, do I really want to know?
Ketch Yawl Ladder,
Bob
Ref:
Billy Edd Wheeler
Welcome !
