Where am I?
by
Sam Hackel-Butt
copyright 10-09-2006
Age Rating: 13 to 127
Where am I? I don't know.
I'm somewhere strange and sad.
The lightning flashes and the rain comes down hard.
My world is in white for only a few seconds,
and then the rain seems to wash it away.
The Devil in my shadow, God in my breath,
There is no escape. One of the two will consume me.
Running as fast as I can, they won't leave.
Stuck between two beliefs.
In two worlds.
The rain is still getting harder until it seems a sheet surounds me.
The devil leaves my shadow and floats above me,
trying to make God leave my soul.
With a deafening cry, I leave the scene...
And wake in my bed.
Soaked in a cold sweat, I looked around confused.
My window is open, and a spine chilling wind floats in.
Remnants of my dream ride the wind and come back to me.
Until I feel the presence of Evil and Good.
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I liked this. I got a weird feeling from it. A cold wet night, home alone... rain pouring, easy to hear. Lighting and a bit of thunder. This was quite a beautiful poem. I like how you added in the Devil and God. The line "The Devil in my shadow, God in my breath," amazed me. I was well said. Nice job. =)
Dig your words. Beautifully crafted lines and stanzas. I'm no real poetry critic, though.
Content-wise, I like seeing something of a faith poem that is tossed back and forth between light and dark but doesn't necessarily accept or reject either one. This could mean you've got something unique, or it could just be my rooting for the Devil as the underdog. I learned more from him as a scapegoat than I did from God as an Almighty.
Great work. I'm not sure I've ever read anything of yours before, come to think of it.
Evil and good, two opposing forces wonderfully portrayed in this visual peice--a creation of words and images woven together to create a fascinating feast for the mind. I enjoyed this.
Welcome !
