Girl Intentions
Chapter 1
by
Paul Kangas
(Age: 18)
copyright 07-29-2003
Age Rating: 10 to 127
Hi! I'm Lucy Hayle. I want you all to know what happened to me all those years ago. The year was 1967. I was 19. I wasted a year of my life that year. Well here is my story...
"Listen. The reson why I took those pills was because I had a head ake" I said. "You took 15 pills. you could of died Lucy. Your 19 years old" said her counsler Mr.Thomas. "I was in a lot of painI" said . "Listen I am going to send you to a mentel Institution. Your parents and I already agreed on it. Your leaving tommarow" said Mr.Thomas. "What? I'm not crazy" I cried! "I'm sorry Lucy but I think this will be the best for you" said Mr.Thomas. A tear went down my cheek and hit the floor. I new from that moment on my life would change...
Help Us Stop Plagiarism -
Nearly all works at PnP are original. However a few people choose to plagiarize.
To check, choose a phrase from the work, then either drag and drop to the search box or copy and paste.
click on search and works at Google will be shown which match. Just to be sure, please do this before
you recommend or rate the work highly...
Advice:
Build
Up
Suspense
And
Add
Descriptions.
You also have your positioning of punctuation and quotation marts wrong. You know that, right? Or do you need me to tell you ho wit's properly done? Example: "Listen," I began hoping my irritation wasn't present in my voice, "The only reason why I took those pills was because I had a headache." I defended.
"You took fifteen pills!" Mrs. Thomas snapped, "You could of died Lucy! You're only nineteen years old!" She yelled, waving her arms fervently. Her pristine hair which was tied up in a bun was coming louse too. I tucked a strand of my medium long brown hair behind my ear continueing,...
There's an example. You should mention how they look, where they are, and how this came about a bit more. Keep writing...