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Picture Credits:
I was lost, confused,
Wandering endlessly in the dreary fog
Of uncertainity
I thought you were gone
Away, disappearing forever -
I thought it was because of me.
I lay in my despair-darkened room
Heavy clouds over my forgotten sun.
What is light?
I lived in black
Pools of inky loss
My company sad memories
Dancing in my head,
Replaying in my brain
Until they wore themselves out
Lay down
And died.
I lay down
But I didn't die.
I stared at my rough white ceiling
Through half-closed lids
Vision blurring through salty,
Unshed tears.
I was too broken to cry.
You didn't call after that night.
I thought that dance was our last
Forever.
No dance in white, like a frosted cupcake
Red hair like sprinkles on top.
You in a tux -
A dancing penguin.
That iridescent bubble shattered,
Touched by the calloused finger of reality
Whose nails need to be trimmed.
I called you instead.
Your sister answered.
I avoided the subject, and you did too.
We talked of everything else -
Another dance, a dance of fear,
Dancing around and never touching
What was too painful to be touched.
But -
You reached out, cradled the words
That I was too afraid to say
I rejoiced silently,
Tentatively,
Lest something go awry.
You spoke of your own sorrow,
Apprehension, feelings
Of inadequateness
And I saw myself swathed in your words.
I said to you the words I always knew
Were true.
I said to you the words
I never thought I'd know were true.
I said to you
That I'd never have you any other way.
And you told me
What I had told you
So many months ago:
"You can't hear
A smile."
We said goodbye
I hung up
And rejoiced.
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