This Anniversary
by
Jessalyn Hamby
(Age: 22)
copyright 12-04-2003
Age Rating: 18 to 127
I remember that day
I was twelve
It was my first time
My first try
I wasn't sure which way to go
How I was suppose to do it
I was told horizontal
I was told vertical
I was told diagonal
So I did all three
It hurt
It hurt really bad
I can remember the pain
The blood spray
But it wasn't as painful as the way I felt
I don't remember why I felt the way I did
I just know that I wanted to die
Make the pain go away for good
No one knew
No one was home like always
I was alone
It didn't work
So I went deeper
It was messy
I got blood everywhere
But I didn't care
I just laid there and went to sleep
When awoke and saw that I was still here
I cried a river
Knowing that I failed again
Just like everything else I do
I fucked up again just like always
Even at death I fail to win
Just a born loser
My first suicidal wreck
And today is the anniversary of that day
I celebrate and let my scars see the light
And not be ashamed
For once
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Man, I literally feel pain when I read this, it's that intense. I had to fight off the urge to get my first aid kit out. Seriously though, I'm glad you are here to chat with me.