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You could
by Paul Kangas (Age: 18)
copyright 10-16-2003


Age Rating: 7 to 127

 
You could change your life, if you wanna.
You could act real smart, if you wanna.
You could change the way you go, thats the way it is.
Your falling through the door.
Flying through floor.
When you look at me suddenly your here in my heart.
Your burning up my dream, as crazy as it seems I don't want to be any place but here with you. your everything to me...


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04-02-2006 Leigh G.    

This would be a really nice piece of work if you fixed the grammar and spelling. Along with punctuation, word form, sentence pattern, capital letters, and all the like. Even though, you do get the idea across. If you want to get something and if you don't get up and do it yourself and keep working at it. At least that's the message till the last two lines... Even though I've never wanted to stay in the same place and have always had to do it myself with no help. Keep writing.

May the divine darkness be with you,
Leigh of the Commenting Crusaders
11-03-2003 Christopher Doss    

I like this, it's almost bouncy...
I admit to having a bit of a giggle at the falling through the door, flying through the floor..I'm a bit of a clutz I'm afraid and I can relate to that....lol
Visitor Reads: 398
Total Reads: 426
Comments: 2

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