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It is easy to document the number of students in our schools who become so stressed it leads to depression or even suicide. With the expectations placed upon them, socially, academically, and economically, it is no great surprise that teenagers today are mentally strained. As a nation trying to raise our youth to be beneficial members of society, we find ourselves leading them into despair, torment, and even death. One of our favorite methods of psychological torture is the college acceptance letter. Yes, that colorful letterhead, engraved with the school’s ferocious monster of a mascot, a beast that seems to hold the life of a student within its hands. Will the student receive the letter, and, as a result, live a blissfully happy life drinking lattes and discussing philosophy over their lunch hours? Will they even try, after we have told them they are not worthy of such an intellectual delight, in the form of a C or a D?
Times have changed, and we find ourselves using these tiny, seemingly insignificant letters, to make our educators gods. Our teachers, the mighty Atlases who bear the world upon their shoulders, seem to think that if the pressure gets to great, if their arms begin to twitch from weariness, if their eyelids begin to sag, if the screaming of their innocent worshippers starts lulling them to sleep in its distant tones, they simply let the earth drop. And with that, it is done.
Why do the mentors abandon their students in their time of need? Because they see no consequences for their actions! Giving a student a C or a D has no meaning to them, it bears no punishment for them, but statistics prove that a straight A student who receives a C will often see no hope of getting into that school they have always longed for, and, with their dreams shattered and the scent of their salty tears stinging them in painful reminder, they say good bye to the world and leave it. This tragedy must be averted, and the one solution is painfully clear.
Teachers must be punished for assigning poor marks to their students. If a student receives an A, the teacher is obviously doing something right. The student is learning, and learning well, and will live in a wonderful Avalon of learning and prosperity. A B is not as horrific or traumatizing as C’s or D’s; a simple pay cut should suffice, along with a verbal reprimand. It is the C where the pain begins, and so it should be for the teachers as well as the student. A C grade should result in sensitivity training, coupled with electro-shock therapy to rid such horrid ideas from the educator’s mind. The D is even more harrowing for our children; a teacher using such devilish devices should be suspended, without pay, as he or she will be spending six to ten months in a state penitentiary for their vile crimes against a helpless child. The F, whose implications I cannot bear to state, shall result in the final punishment. For driving many children to suicide and depression, or to a lesser extent, rejection from college, the teacher will spend life in prison, where, hopefully, they too will feel the rejection their students felt, and taste the justice, so bitter yet so sweet, heavy on their tongues for the rest of their days. Which may not be great in number.
It is a sad state of affairs when we must carry out such retributions, but it is necessary. When our teachers have become so heartless as to kill and scar their students, something has to be done. This is our solution to a horrible crisis. But don’t worry, our children will all be better now.
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