Admittance
by
Jessalyn Hamby
(Age: 22)
copyright 10-30-2003
Age Rating: 16 to 127
Memories overtaking
My nerves tremble and shaking
Huddled and rocking
Forbidden thoughts unlocking
That night I left behind in the past
My sweetness I had hoped would last
But so quickly forever stolen
My shining rays now dullin
Two years ago on this night
Where I lost my shining sweetness light
This story is about a word I dare not say
For I cry to the thought.........ever today
Clear night sky in the city
Sneaking out to the club
The undergrounds "Gritty"
Glowsticks, dancing, and raving
Techno-industrial
Teenage mis-behaving
Out with friends having a good time
Getting the eye
Nothing in divine
Talking and chat
Nothing wrong
And the end to that
Crying and pleading
"shut-up!"
My heart sinking and bleeding
Drowned out screams
I try to forget
Reserect in my dreams
Crying and hurt all alone
On the bathroom floor
Left to live life a dull drone
Once shining and pure
Stolen away
Beaten and left to endure
Who could want me now?
Dirty
Why did he do this? And how?
I still wonder why?
I still sit in my room and cry
I'm finally telling this story
And I don't tell it proudly
But it's something I have denied
When asked what's wrong I've lied
So now I'm telling what happened
As my stomach is tightened
I will say this one little word
It's only four letters but awkward
As my story is now undraped
I will finally say........I was raped
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Jessalyn, the first step to healing is talking and letting others share in your pain. I'm a rape victim also and have found that writing is the best of therapies. Keep writing and healing. Sending you lots of love and hugs.
Nancy