After All He Was My Friend
by
Jim Nasium
copyright 08-22-2001
Age Rating: 18 to 127
After All He Was My Friend
by Jim Nasium
Some said he wasn't worth the time of day
others called him a junkie, and a fool
there were a few of us who knew him well
we all know why he was like he was
His childhood wasn't the happiest
living with drunken abusive parents
who didn't work or want him
in a small house on the poor side of town
The addiction he developed wasn't a surprise
I feared he'd end up like he has
I tried to help him but you can only
take a horse to water, you can't make it drink
He was really a good man deep down inside
his heart was full of love and caring
I knew him when he was happy with his life
before he tried his luck at love, and loving
No one worked as hard as he did
to make things turn out for the best
he gave till there was nothing left to give
no one understood that he was drained
I tired to tell him what to do
my suggestion went over his head
he was to proud to drop to his knees
to ask for forgiveness and help from God
She came into his life at the right time, I thought
she taught him about Jesus, and His salvation
they prayed together for his soul and they found love
the years they lived together were his happiest
The love that he found in God, and her
gave him the strength that he needed
he was productive, responsible and sober
I had never seen him look better
The reward he earned was a son
he loved that child more than he loved himself
he was never prouder of anything
finally I thought he's be ok for the rest of his life
Fate plays cruel tricks on us all
no one knew she had been cheating on him
the whole life he tried hard to make his own
was based on a lie, and it failed
The day she took their child and left
was the day he stared falling apart
he withdrew and hid away inside his house
there was no life where once a fire burnt bright
Wanting all the things he could never have
having all the things he never wanted
he's was hurt once too many times
left alone in dark rooms to grow old, and bitter
Thinking he would be better off alone
he wanted only what fate gave him to deal with
never searched for more than what he was left with
knowing all the while that it was hopeless to try again
Once he'd give freely to others in a thankless world
he tried to love where love could not thrive
he was misunderstood most of the time
stressed out more than a man should be
There has always been a fast way out for him
but he feared going back to the pit of the past
he had worked so hard to climb out of it
now he feels that it's easier to just not care
Sadness can help us to make the wrong decisions
loneliness plays a part in the wrong choice too
I'm sure he did what he did because he saw his life as hopeless
he had one too many days spent alone with a broken heart
I didn't think that he was serious when he told me his plan
I thought he was kidding around when he said
"time runs out for the best of us
sooner or later every star burns out and fades away"
His life ended by his own hand last night
he just didn't want any of the other choices
he took the easy way out of his pain
relief was just one shot away for him
He was found dead this morning in an alley
bent over with a spike in his arm next to a dumpster
a small dried trail of blood on his left arm
a big smile on his face
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Suddenly words fail me, I just feel a big empty....I have been the one to break the news, I have been the one who had it broken to her. I never understand. I always think "could I have done something more? Could I have made a difference?" Perhaps his death will make you work harder to have a loving life, perhaps he did not die in vain.
Very powerful deep poem. A friend. No matter what happened in the end, he always had a true friend, which sounded like more than he ever really knew. Powerful.
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