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So far this year, I have found four people who believe themselves to be the anti-christ, six people believing they have MET the anti-christ, 294 who believe Bush is the anti-christ, and about 96 who wish they were the anti-christ. While these numbers may seem a bit shocking, it is actually rather true. After the first day, I came the idea that I should begin to record those who speak of the anti-christ and categorize them in such a manner.
On the second day, I went around and spoke with as many people as I could. I found seven people who wished they could be the anti-christ. Not bad. I recorded their names, and moved on. I met two who believed they were the anti-christ, saying they were soul-twins of darkness (although they dressed in priests robes), and one saying they met the anti-christ. I could tell this school was rather interesting.
On I went, collecting until now, and I have got these numbers. I figure they should be the best to target for the Turbanism religion. They need the Turbanman Julio more than I do. Now just to find a way to get them to south America. Hell...most people would believe I was doing the US a favor.
These people were the inspiration for my latest comics, which include me, Alyse, Steffie, Kira, Jill, my girlfriend, Candas, Julie, and Satan. Yes, you heard me right. Satan. Well, more precisely his son Payne who comes to Earth each day to go to school. There's also a floating talking mushroom who sings Britney Spears. And this is based off of my life.
Maybe some day I'll put them on the internet. You never know.
Still...back onto the topic of the anti-christ...I have decided to add something to my religion, called "INACA" I am Not the Anti-Christ Anonymous. For people who think they are, wish they are, or have met, the anti-christ. We would need a thirteen step program of course.
1. Admit you have a problem.
2. Tell your peers at INACA what your problem is.
3. Speak about it with a counselor
4. Repeat daily, "I am not, I do not want to be, and I have not met, the anti-christ."
5. Chant this in the morning before you get out of bed, and then naked in front of the mirror before you go to bed (hehe...naked).
6. Address the empty void this leaves, filling it with something more positive (like sex or alcohol)
7. Begin to make new friends outside of INACA that don't encourage the anti-christ-like behaviors
8. If the need to be evil still exists, learn to express it like a healthy human being (such as stabbing the pizza boy)
9. Find something to do when the old desires and thought rise up again. Repeat the mantra while doing dishes, writing poetry, streaking down the street, or else downing a keg of tequilla.
10. Discuss your progress with INACA, and share your daily success stories
11. Keep a journal of the cravings for the anti-christ, and track how they go down. Isn't it wonderful!
12. Begin to pull away from your anti-christ encouraging friends.
13. Stop your whining and get a life.
That would be the thirteen step process. Joyful, isn't it?
Anyways...enough of this. I have to go do important class work. Like...daydream in art or something.
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