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Who's Love?
by Buddy Ales (Age: 18)
copyright 07-01-2004


Age Rating: 7 to 127

 
If one can know,
the love in me.
Then I will know,
what you see.

If she can tell,
who he is.
Then he won't kill,
and will go last.

He really cares,
but she don't know.
They will have theirs,
then she'll go.


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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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09-05-2004 Mary -BrytEyz- Ball    

Gasp! I just noticed that I failed to leave points the FIRST time I read this. I am so very sorry! Please tell me Im forgiven. *humbly kneels before thee.*
09-05-2004 Mary -BrytEyz- Ball    

You know I read your poems more than once, don't you? *smile*

And I'm glad you featured this so that many others will have the chance to read this treasure of collected and wisely chosen arrangement of words. :-)

Here's some more points. :-)
07-27-2004 Mary -BrytEyz- Ball    

A poem isn't always about saying something that everyone else will understand. It's not always about pleasing and teasing the crowd. Sometimes it's just what you want to say to yourself, sometimes it's a puzzle that's presented itself. Anyway... I read many things into it before reading your comment. I like clarification because now I know what YOU meant it to be about. Thank you.
07-09-2004 Jeniffer Brand    

Nice!
05-17-2004 Andrea Jeanette DiGiantomasso    

as usual, a good theme, but i want you to step back and look at the poem. as poets, we can play with punctuation: add more, take it away, use little symbols for a different purpose than it was intended (i am notorious for using the ~ sign as a line break). With your punctuation you break the poem apart too much, it makes it very jerky. so step back and look. how do you want it to sound? when you want a pause, add a period or a comma or even a slash mark. but when you just want to let it flow, forget punctuation. i love the theme though, about how we feel and what we believe to be love. just step back, look at it. is there anyway you'd change how it sounds? good though, i give it a two.
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