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There are a few ways to write a skit, especially for your history class. But there are some things you must always keep in mind.
It must be stupid.
It must not make sense.
It must always make fun of someone or something.
It must always take the details from the book and blow it up to massive, extreme proportions.
It's okay to put in details that aren't really there.
It never hurts to have someone beaten to death by a shoe (or a miniature horse for that matter).
Okay...here's an example. Apparently, it's a very horrible, offensive, skit, according to my classmates. Although my teacher thought it was hilarious. So if you're mormon and are offended by anything mentioning polygomy, or can't stand satire about your religion (as there's constant satire's on gays, lesbians, jews, muslims, buddhist, arabians, blacks, latino's, white's, and every other group of peoples on the planets) then don't read this. And if you get horribly offended by satire with anything about you, here's a tip. Get some prybars and pull the stick from your sphincter.
Narrator is the talkshow host.
Jill--Dead Joseph Smith
Joni--Joseph Smith of the Past
Zoe--(ME!) Mrs. Joseph Smith the First
Emi--Mrs. Joseph Smith the twelfth
Angry Mob--Angry mob
Narrator: We’re here on channel 342, Mormon For You. Today on our show “When Mad Crowds strike Back” we have with us a special guest that all of you must know. Mr. Joseph Smith! He will tell us all about the famous mob that killed him, and how it came to be. So let’s all give a warm round of applause for Joseph Smith!
Jill: *Enters on stage* Thank you, Thank you! And thank you for having me today!
Narrator: Thank you for coming!
Jill: It’s my pleasure and gods commanding!
Narrator: Okay. Now…we brought you here today to discuss something very specific. Tell us about yourself and that death.
Jill: Of course! Now, it’s been a good 150 years, or at least close to it. It was around the year 1844. America was free, and I had just met god…
Joni: *Is the Joseph Smith of Past. Walks on stage*
Jill: I was a hearty young man, dubbed at birth Joseph Smith. Known by my friends as Joe.
Joni: Hello!
Jill: I had recently founded the Mormon religion, after translating scripture, creating the book of Mormon. Many people didn’t like it, and called it sacrilege.
Joni: God told me to do it!
Jill: It was a wonderful time, and I soon afterwards married Mrs. Smith the First, who was a wonderful woman. Mostly because she understood Polygamy.
Zoe: *Walks on stage*
Joni: *Stares*
Zoe: What?
Joni: I want you.
Zoe: I want you too.
Joni: You won’t be the only.
Zoe: *Smacks him* That’s crap!
Joni: God said for me to do it!
Zoe: *Ponders* Okay!
Jill: We were soon married.
Joni: Now lets go make it official (if you get my drift) *They walk off stage*
Jill: Not too long after, I was wandering through the market, happy with my homelife and blossoming of…well…lets leave that as it is. I met a girl named Emi, soon to be Mrs. Smith the 12th
Emi: *Enters*
Joni: *Follows closely, staring*
Emi: What, freak?
Joni: I want you.
Emi: *Glares*
Joni: Marry me. *Emi keeps glaring*
Emi: *Darkly* Give me ten bucks and it’s a done deal.
Joni: *Fishes in his pocket and pulls it out* Here.
Emi: *Grabs it, then grabs his hand, dragging him off.* Let’s go, Jew boy!
Joni: *As he’s being taken off* Jew? I’m Mormon!
Narrator: Wait wait wait! 12th?! What happened to Mrs. Smith the first?
Jill: Oh, she was still around. We just had ten other women in the house at the same time!
Narrator: Did she mind?
Jill: Not really. Less housework for her I guess. And she never had to use the headache excuse.
Narrator: *Stares at him for a few uncomfortable seconds* Okay…
Jill: *When the silence gets too much* Can I go on?
Narrator: Why not?
Jill: Anyways…not long after, I had to take her home to the family. And let me tell you. If you think waking up drunk with that really ugly woman on your arm is horrible, then you have no idea what it’s like to face an angry woman who just found out you have more than one wife!
Joni: Welcome to my humble abode! *Leading her onstage. Zoe’s wiping a table*
Emi: *Excitedly* We get a maid!
Zoe: *Stands up, glaring* Excuse me?
Narrator: Hard for the new ones to understand at first?
Jill: Actually…I usually warned them first…
Narrator: Uh oh.
Jill: Yah.
Joni: Now now…Emi? This is Zoe. She’s one of my other wives.
Emi: *Smacks him* You’re married to another woman?!
Zoe: Plural, darling. Plural. WOMEN.
Emi: *In shock* There’s more than ONE!
Joni: Uhm…
Zoe: Eleven to be exact. Well…counting you, twelve.
Emi: OH SWEET GOD!!! *leans heavily against the wall* What am I going to do?! What is my father going to think?!
Joni: God told you to do it?
Emi: You’re not god, idiot!
Joni: No, but I AM Joseph Smith, and god told me to.
Emi: God? You…you…you Mormon!
Joni: ….And?
Emi: I’m JEWISH! *Grabs head*
Joni: Well, I have more money. And you won’t have to do a lot of housework. Twelve women with one house? A lot better than one woman with a house, isn’t it?
Emi: *Pauses* *Glares* You and your logic. *Thinks harder* Well…will you at least tell my family your Jewish?
Joni: *Thinks* Sure, why not?
Emi: *Grabs his arm* Then come on, Jew boy! *Drags him off*
Joni: I’m MORMON!
Emi: Not to the folks, you’re not! *They leave*
Zoe: *Stares after them* That’s one frightening girl…I like her. *Walks off stage*
Narrator: So…everything turned out okay with her family?
Jill: Not particularly….remember in the bible where it commands you shall not deny your savior?
Narrator: Uh oh.
Jill: Just slightly.
Narrator: What happened?
Jill: Eheh…I kind of slipped up and mentioned my sixth wife?
Narrator: Oh…
Jill: Yah. The father took my and locked me up in Liberty Jail.
Narrator: And then?
Jill: Well…if you think fathers are angry? Try facing a mother.
Narrator: Oh no.
(Random yell) KILL HIM!!!!!!!
*Zoe, Emi, and others run forward with shoes in hand, and the horse bag thing, and begin to beat Joni for the remainder of the time needed to fill up the two minute allotment of this script.*
Narrator: Wow…that’s a really long beating.
Jill: Yup
Narrator: So what did you do next?
Jill: I died.
Narrator: Really?
Jill: Why else would I be here?
Narrator: What about after that? With the other Mormon’s?
Jill: In a panic, they grabbed up their crap and ran for the Salty city in Utah.
Narrator: Do you ever regret it?
Jill: Not really. It was some fun times. I was a teenager, and had twelve women. What could be better?
Narrator: Isn’t that sinful now.
Jill: In today’s age, yes
Narrator: So why did you do it?
Jill: God told me to.
Narrator: Okay…
Jill: Well…I gotta go. One of the women call from up high.
Narrator: Bye Joseph. *Jill leaves* And that concludes today’s episode of “When Mad Crowds strike Back”. Thanks for tuning in, and next on channel 342, Mormon For You, we will have “Jesus and the liquor demon” for children! Thanks for watching!
~END
Nobody reads this anyways, might as well insert a link I need to remember
http://homepage.mac.com/rhurt/gallery/archives/moonlight-arches.jpg
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