My Diary
Jan. 29th
by
Paul Kangas
(Age: 18)
copyright 01-29-2004
Age Rating: 13 to 127
Yippie! My friends don't hate me! They said they were sorry! anyways this morning was kinda sad. I gave Aarika a note saying "Is there something wrong with are relationship"?
She replyed and she wrote:
Hey ho wya doing big boy LOL
So you really want to know... I'll tell you if you don't get mad. Well you need to act more Mannly. I'd love it if you and I'd hold your hand more, I can't have people thinking your well .. gay its just wrong I knoe your not but I need to know that you love me
I know its your personality but please just for me I'll change for you. I want you to be happy and not get made fun of lifes hard enough
I really do love you other wise I wouldnt be with you
I hope you love me back I have problems to
Love Aarika
p.s. Im gothic and really cant change that
That means I am into witch craft,
Pentcal for Satan, Thats the definition of Gothika
I sold my soul years ago and haven't been able to change yet
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I really thought she was changed but hasn't! its cause her old BF Kory! I HATE HIM! At least he ain't at school no more! Im NOT giving up on Aarika, I will change her for the better
anyways I replyed:
I wrote: well haven't you seen a change?!? I love you but I will NOT worship Satan, never, ish! But I um well love you!
Aarika wrote: a little change, you don't have to I'm not allowed to dress in whatever I want
I wrote: I can. People are NOT calling me GAY.
Aarika wrote: behind your back and I hate that they do
I wrote: Well there just the stuck-up snobs who absultly no lifes and hurt Every other kid in school.
Aarika wrote: They call me a freak
I wrote: Why? cause the way you act? Or your past?
Aarika wrote: both
I wrote: why do you care so much about what they say?
Aarika wrote: I know, I don't care but sometimes it hurts when I'm looking in the mirror thinking about what I have become
I wrote: what have you become?
Aarika wrote: A freak
I wrote: No, a HOTTIE
Your not a freak ok, your not.
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well nothing else happened much today OH I FAILED a math test and a social test! IT ISN't fair! i thought i'd ace the math test, i thought i was gonna get an A, or a B, but I was wrong, I got an F, a D would have been decent :( :( :(
well Ill update soon!!!
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whats wrong with goths and paul you shouldnt have to change u are who u are and be happy with it if others arent stuff it its only you that has to be happy with yourself...goths arent freaks u can tell her that!! theres nothing different from goths to normal people...its just the way we choose to think. yea shes right it hurts looking in the mirror it really does but she has the power to change what she has become if she doesnt like it if she does like whats shes become...then accept it
i dunno if im making sense
sorry if im not
Emy
She probaly wants a strong, kinda mean guy. Your a nice guy and she just probaly doesn't like it. I don't know Aarika so I wouldn't really know what to say.
Paul,
I don'tthink she necessarily wanted you to worship Satan. It's just that girls like stronger men. Especially ones who get teased, or who have been through a lot. They like to know that someone is there to protect them and tell them the world is okay. Someone who can make them feel safe, and who will stand up for not only them, but themselves as well. It's an odd thing, I know, but trustme...it's one reason many girls avoid men. they can never find one they feel safe with.
Welcome !
