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On Line
Robert Betts
Richard Reed Jr
Susan Brown
June Nazarian
Sofia Martins
5 Writers

Aisha Sara
1 Free Members

6 Members
57 Guests

Im through with you
by Toni Sweeney (Age: 21)
copyright 11-29-2004


Age Rating: 13 to 127

 
I'm through with you
I've had enough
I'm moving out of this house
that we bought when I loved you
so long ago

In the past I've cried
many tears at night
this final night it all will end
I'm leaving these tears
that once I called my best friends.

I'm am tired of you
I shouldn't of waited this long
I don't know why I did
but now I don't care
I've made up my mind
I'm leaving you
no matter what you say

I'm packing my stuff
and loading it in to the car
You better say good bye
because you will never see this face again.

Now I will have real friends
and there is nothing you can do
I'm tired of these tears being my only friends
and that is why I'm leavin you
this very night

goodbye
I will never see you again




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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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10-31-2006 Richard Reed Jr    

And an ending is a new beginning. -the tone of finality came through loud and clear in this piece ~especially the closing~

Well Done!

Rich
07-19-2006 Kimberly Murphy    

Ooooo This is a very good write!!! No..more like a PERFECT write!! I love it. Truly amazing!!
Kim
04-06-2005 Caitlin M.    

Wow I love it! Kinda reminds me of how I feel at times in my house. But luckicly, today isn't one of those days. Actually this is how you would feel in school. Like,"Oh my god teachers leave me alone! AAAAAH!" Or maybe it's just me.
03-10-2005 Anthony Lane Stahlhut    

Sounds like a cry for him to stop you, to me!. If you really did not care you would not be upset and who would care if he said goodby...good riddence! Thanks, Anthony
03-08-2005 James Shammas    

Just keep hanging in there!
08-01-2004 Mika L.    

It sound nice. I'll check back on it later.
07-26-2004 Amanda Carroll    

Great job. I like how you mirrored upon the tears being your best, and only friends. It flows smoothly and I only spoted one problem, which was in spelling. (I almost spelt 'spelling' wrong, can you believe it? I also almost spelt 'believe' wrong. Pathetic, huh? Spelling will be my undoing.) The typo was in 'this finall night it shall end' - it should have looked like this 'this final night shall end'. That was all I could find wrong but, I'm just a 13-year-old.
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