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Don't Go
by Travis Bauer (Age: 21)
copyright 04-01-2004


Age Rating: 13 to 127

  Don't Go
Picture Credits:

Is this it?
Is this the end?
Am I to release you,
Let you love another?

I can love you like no other.
I wish to be loved the same.
I know you deserve the best,
I hope the best is in me.

I could just let you go.
But that would show,
That I am not worthy,
That I don't deserve your love.

I'm taking a stand.
I have made my choice
To not let you go,
And destroy what we have.

Will you stay with me?
I want to be with you.
Baby, please don't go.
I want you, stay, I need you...




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04-19-2004 Emily Garwood    

wow...deeeeeeeeep thats all ican say...deeeeeeep
lol na it's excellent caring and shows you know you're worthy of something you want so badly
04-01-2004 Jeromy Ehlert    

good one man this is some good work i think its one of the best re rights you got i think youve come along since i saw the first on you wrote
03-19-2004 Stefanie Mendoza    

Travis,
This is a really awesome piece from you!! I do agree with Joan on most of the changes she suggested except the last line. The whole be my lady part seems a bit off. Maybe use a different title... arg.. can't think right now, but I just personally don't think lady fits... Aside from that I think this poem is absolutely wonderful and you've done an amazing job!! E-mail me if you edit anything!

~Steffie~
03-18-2004 Joan Jotz    

More passion from Travis!
Another emotional poem, and just a tad rough.
Mind a few suggestions?
1st stanza, 3rd line: "Do I release you,
And let you love another?
2nd stanza:"I can love you like no other.."
Drop 'and' from the next line "I wish to be love d the same."
"That I am not the better man" (drop That)
I am taking a stand-->"I'm taking a stand."
Last line.."I want you, stay, be my lady"

Just a few ideas for you to play with.
I'll watch for the finished poem.

~~~Joan~~~
03-18-2004 Travis Bauer    

If you think this one is too wordy, let me know. Because I kinda think it is too.
Travis
Visitor Reads: 527
Total Reads: 551
Comments: 5

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