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Dark Cold Night
by Rissa T. (Age: 17)
copyright 11-09-2004


Age Rating: 10 to 127

 
I'm walking all alone
on this cold and lonely night
the world has stopped around me
it's raining in the dark.
I see a distant stranger,
but he's fading away.
Ever since that terrible day.
I'll be a wandering soul
because I'm lost without you.
I'll dispair till I die.


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Comments on this Article/Poem:
Click on the commenter's name to see their Author's Page

05-09-2006 Alma H.    

This was really good. I wonder where you are getting your ideas and now I'm thinking I should freak out. These poems are so deep, so from deep in the heart. Great write.
Alma H.
06-20-2005 Crystal (bunny) Johnson    

hey great write keep up the great write lol



11-15-2004 Brittney N. N.    

Alot of enotion and mystery. Very good.
11-14-2004 Jenna T.    

This poem has alot of emotion...I like that! Great job!
~Jenna T.
11-13-2004 Rebecca Couture    

Such feeling. The darkness closes in. I wonder who the stranger is. There is a feeling of lost yet something says there is more yet to come. Maybe something that will take the darkness away.
06-30-2004 Sam Hackel-Butt    

Awww it's over? It was just getting good! Maybe add a bit like stated below. E-mail me if you deside to add on. It's really great!!
04-06-2004 Toni Sweeney    

Hi Risa,
This is an awesome poem but like Joan said you ended it to quickly. Email me if you add some other verses please. My Favorite lines are I see a distance stranger but he is fading away.
Keep up the awesome work.
Toni S.
04-06-2004 Joan Jotz    

Your re-write is good, much better wording, and descriptions. You could probably add another verse sometime later. Good work,
~*~Joan~*~
04-04-2004 Joan Jotz    

Hi Risa,
There is some good tension in your poem, but you almost end it too quickly. Te reader would like to know more about the 'stranger' you refer to.
Your last 4 lines seem to repeat:
"I'll be a lost soul,
cecause (because) I'm lost without you."
Try to re-word these lines so they don't sound so much alike.
Also, in the 4th and 5th lines you use 'dark' twice. Maybe another word to describe the stranger.

~*~Joan~*~
Visitor Reads: 482
Total Reads: 528
Comments: 9

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