Mind Tricks
by
Walter Jones
(Age: 63)
copyright 06-19-2004
Age Rating: 13 to 127
Willows weep while waters seep into the glen
Tired time trembles turning minds from the pen
Wander walks while wee Willy smiles he is my friend
Be better a man strive if you can to meet Gods plan
Thought rolling off the hill sad and lonely note
Silver turns to gold in the willow tree of old
Looks like I sold the last thing he had to hold
Wanting wee Willy wrote felt sorry for the old goat
A child stopped to see the last of the free vote
And a whale upon the sand made his last float
Contemplate oil and heat as burgundy does meet
The rolling trolley of the rails left in the street
Was it a China desire or an old flame that’s beat
Movies take their tale and starlet’s chests grow
Just how the kids don’t really know it is a show
Four to one the odds are still a timing of the kill
Jack chases Jill she searches for more gold on the hill
Sandra insists that Jill’s growth is just a water pill
The rush to fame is to blame for children on coke
If I catch the creep who started them He will choke
Last of tunes cow jumped the moon and burned the spoon
Jill is coming down Jack does not have a frown in June
Mary is the same goes by another name he says ‘bafown’
Willows weep as daddy falls asleep in the middle the room
All are high, as the sky each will sing their final swan tune
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I like the rhyme and alliteration, even though I may not fully "understand" the poem. Joyce wrote a lot like this, especially in Molly Bloom's soliloquy at the end of Ulysses.
Is this a certain TYPE of poem? If so, what kind? It's another sad but true story. Sometimes I think... I like fantasy better. It's so much more peaceful...and much kinder. :-)
Walter, a good, no doubt fun write. A challenge to read, I had to do several times to be sure of where it was going or maybe that's just me after vacation. Ends at just the right spot, I think, leaving the reader hungry for just a little more. On rewrite, try for a more natural flow, as several lines, not many, sound a bit labored. Hang in there,
Wayne