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This man inside me
by Doug Carlson (Age: 22)
copyright 04-29-2004


Age Rating: 10 to 127

  This man inside me
Picture Credits: By Lyle Berry

When I look in your eye all I see is the search
For the man inside me.

I drive down the street just looking and trying to find
The man inside me.

I walk through the park looking at the lake searching for
That man inside me.

I sit and look at the stars and wonder where that man is.
that man inside me.

I think about my life and wonder where he is.
This man inside me,

I think of my love for you and your love for me but I worry About that man inside me.

Who is this man I wonder.
This man inside me.

Is he strong, is he weak, is he the man I want to be.
This man inside me.

My love for you goes stronger every day as I look.
For this man inside me.

I guess we will never know about
This man inside me.

As I look at my family and a picture of us I truely understand.
This man inside me.

I know where he is.
This man inside me.

My search is over for.
The man inside me.

I knew where he was.
The man inside me.

He was with me all along.
He was deep inside me.




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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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06-08-2005 David Pekrul    

Ditto with what Joan says. This has the potential for a very good poem, but the repetitive line is distracting.
06-09-2004 Misty Montier    

nice poem, like the reflective/comtemplative tone. won't say the obvious which is what the other comments state...good now, great once errors are corrected.
04-27-2004 Travis Bauer    

spelling and grammer need a little revision. Other than that it looks ok. Fix it and e-mail me when you have.
Travis
04-26-2004 Joan Jotz    

Doug,
Lots of spelling mistakes in this. Re-read and correct, some are probably just typos. I like the feeling in this poem, but your repetition distracts. Try making your verses longer, and come up with a different way to say
"This man inside me."

~*~Joan~*~
04-23-2004 Toni Sweeney    

Good poem, You have one spelling mistake on the third line stret should be street. Also at the end you said This man inside of me to much. To fix that a bit you cold take My search is over for. i knew where he was. He was with me all along. put all of those lines together and at the end you could put the man inside of me. But that is up to you to decide that. rather then that the poem was great.
Toni S.




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