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Alaskan days
by Toni Sweeney (Age: 21)
copyright 07-20-2004


Age Rating: 7 to 127

 
Nights were cold,
so were the days.
the wind was blowing
almost all day.
the snow was falling
most of the time.
these were those winter days.

Summer has come upon us
and ever since that day
the snow melted away.
All that is left are those trouble causing puddles
that remain in the street.
the weather has warmed
by much I say.
The wind has stopped blowing,
ever since that day
that summer came.
These are those
spring and summer days.

Summer will last
for three months or more
the snow will not fall
for awhile, I guess
then all will be back
when fall disappears
these are those Alaskan days.


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07-27-2007 Richard Reed Jr    

I like the feelings of the outdoors that your piece portrays in a well-crafter manner.

I can almost fell the touch of the seasons upon my skin.

Good write -thanks,

~Rich
05-31-2006 Angela Toshner    

this is good, like I said I want to visit alaska, hopefully ill be aboe to in my life!
angela
07-12-2004 Irina Guschina    

The change of the seasons is like a change of our lives... sad a little...
I like this poem, Toni!
Irina.
05-25-2004 Joan Jotz    

Hi Toni,
I see you did some re-writing. It reads better with the punctuation you added.
Caught one small typo::
Summer has came upon us--> come upon us.
I can just picture the changes you describe.
You get an extra point for the re-write!!

~*~Joan~*~
04-29-2004 Joan Jotz    

Toni,
Good job. Lots of description to portray the seasons in Alaska. I like how you connect each stanza with "Those winter/spring/summer days, gives a nice feeling of continuity, like the change of the seasons you describe.

Check over for punctuation. Need some periods and commas in places where you end a thought.
EX: "...That remain in the street. (period)
The weather has warmed,(comma) by much, I'd say.
the wind has stopped blowing
ever since that day
that summer came.(period) These are those
spring and summer days."
Anyway, you get the idea.

Good work. ~*~Joan~*~
04-29-2004 Nancy Pawley    

Alaskan weather certainly isn't like South Georgia weather; spring and fall are cooler than the hot humid summers, but there is rarely snow in wintertime. Loved your poem, Toni.
Nancy
Visitor Reads: 678
Total Reads: 700
Comments: 6

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