Being Sixteen
by
Victoria Medley
(Age: 20)
copyright 05-13-2004
Age Rating: 16 to 127
Being sixteen, the time when prince charming is supposed to magically appear and sweep you off your feet, taking away all your problems.
That's what being sixteen is supposed to be, not what being sixteen is.
Being sixteen is waking up each morning and looking at yourself in the mirror, wondering when you stopped remembering how to smile while critiquing ever flaw, because you know that everyone else will.
Being sixteen is waking up in the back seat of a car that you don't recognize with a guy you barely know because your friends convinced you that another can of beer wouldn't do you any harm.
Being sixteen is trying to make it through each day without actually living it, because you never really have time to experience what's going on around you, only to see it pass you by.
Being sixteen is sitting on the cold, hard floor of the girl's bathroom during fifth period, surrounded by tampon wrappers as you try to stopper up the blood loss you've been praying for ever since you woke up with that football player from math.
Being sixteen is throwing your guts up after every meal because you know that your boyfriend will break up with you if you gain a single ounce.
Being sixteen is waking up at 4 in the morning every day for weeks attempting to pass an AP exam because you're parents have told you that they can't afford to send you to college, so you have to eliminate as many courses as possible.
Being sixteen is being to afraid to go home because you made a 92 on your report card instead of a 93 and you know that there's at least a beating and a lecture in it for you. But, that's not what you're really afraid of. You're more afraid of the disappointment that they have in you.
Being sixteen is trying to ignore the fact that your mother is sleeping with her best friend, another woman, because your father didn't call her one night to tell her that he was stopping to get something to eat on his way home.
Being sixteen is watching your father stand at the end of the driveway, crying, because he still loves your mother and she doesn't love him anymore.
Being sixteen is watching them keep up the charade, while trying to convince your little brother that all of it is real.
Being sixteen is belonging to 8 different extra curicular activities to make yourself look good on a college application so that you can 'make something of yourself', while trying to maintain a 4.6 GPA.
Being sixteen is picking up a kitchen knife and sliding it down your arm, watching the blood flow, curious as to how easy it would be to end it all.
Being sixteen is realizing that in the end, they've brainwashed you so that you can't end it. They've made you want the things that are driving you crazy.
Being sixteen is realizing that it never ends, that if it's not grades it's a job and bills and credit. It's a husband, a house payment, or even a baby.
Being sixteen is realizing that before you even get to live, you're already dead.
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I am with Debra Being 16 is supposed to be the most amazing years of your life. I am trying to make my 16 my most amazing year ofo my life(Even though its almost over) Also try being a report card with a 52 on it with a dad that expects you to be perfect. Try making your life enjoyable. And if you are cutting yourself please stop. If you need to talk to any one you can email me.
Toni S.
Vicky,
I rather suspected that it wasn't totally biographical. And Yes, I agree 100%. Our society is insane. Biologically people are mature at about 12, and yet they are treated as children until 18. It is true that they usually don't have the emotional maturity to handle things such as marriage, heck some never reach that maturity even at 40. But all adults should read this. A young adult should be given straight, honest answers and should be able to question elders and expect that. This work certainly gives a realistic perspective into the mind of a teen, or teens, collectively.
Excellent piece, Vicky.
bob
Aw, Debra *huggles* that's so sweet. I myself, have never had a drinking problem or woken up next to a guy (I've never even been kissed. ^^;), but I based this poem on the experiences of many of my friends, as well as my own. Most of it is biographical, but a lot of it is about people that are close to me. This is more of a message, I suppose, for parents and adults than anything. I mean, most adults brush off teenage problems as "hormones" or "a phase", but none of them realize that we're not kids anymore. This lack of listening is part of the reason that so many kids my age commit suicide.
Victoria,
Being 16 is supposed to be the most amazing years of your life, when you discover the joys of womanhood and sit in little soda shops, dressed in a poodle skirt and dancing to the juke box. It's not. Nor is seventeen, or eighteen.
But you know what? I'm seventeen...and you know what seventeen is?
Seventeen is falling in love for the first time, experiencing heartbreak all over again. Looking in the eyes of your manager at work as they tell you "I've never had a better employee", of getting that acceptance letter from the college. Seventeen is counting down the days till you're eighteen, and you can leave, and live your own life. You can go to college, get your 2.7 or 4.6, or whatever, and still make it through. Jobs don't look at your GPA, just that little plaque on the wall that says you did it. Being seventeen is looking at through the world through whole new eyes.
I once thought it only got worse. It doesn't. Your parents place so much pressure on you, and when you're in college, all you really have to do is pass (I"m in college now, trust me, I know), and you don't have to get anything amazing. Just get by. If you get the degree, you get it, whether you're a 4.6 or 2.3. You get it. It's on your wall. That's it. You have your job, your parties, your friends.
Get the drinking under control. The sex as well. Get your life on the tracks...doing that is not an escape. Take it from someone who's been down that path and woke up one day with an STD. Thank god I was able to get rid of it.
My sister woke up pregnant. Fourteen times over.
If you need any help, email me, okay. Never EVER be afraid to email me and rant. Or anything. It'll stay just between us. I promise.
Welcome !
