Help Us Stop Plagiarism -
Nearly all works at PnP are original. However a few people choose to plagiarize.
To check, choose a phrase from the work, then either drag and drop to the search box or copy and paste.
click on search and works at Google will be shown which match. Just to be sure, please do this before
you recommend or rate the work highly...
Amanda,
MUCHMUCHMUCHMUCH MUCH BETTER! Wow...You have done an amazing job! You definitly have a talent that should never be stifled! Try entering this into a contest, I think you'll win ^_^
Amanda,
Before I say anything, there are some errors in here that need to be fixed. Here they are (look to afterwards for rest of comment):
"Of ways hearts can be slaien"--slaien should be slain
"Thier's death and pain and sorrow.
Thier's love that's only borrowed."
First off, with this, you used the wrong "There/their" and spelled it wrong as well. The one you were aiming for in the spelling I believe is "their", which can be remembered for spelling by saying "The Ir" (I had a HORRIBLE problem with those!) That one is only used to describe people, such as "Their car." I believe you meant "There" which is used in every other instance (except for There are, or they're). This line should be said as
"There's death and pain and sorry.
There's love that's only borrowed."
"Some are born to die
While others ailed surivive."--WOW!!! You have an amazing vocabulary, and that line is INTENSE! I love this one!!!
"When our hearts and souls bare witness
To when togetherness betraied us."
I have a suggestion beyond grammar for this one. "Betraied" is actually spelled "betrayed" to be more precise. But this line is kind of hard to follow. I think it might flow better if it were:
"Where our hearts and souls bare witness
To when togetherness betrayed us."
But I think it might be better if you just replaced togetherness. A few words that would work for there: "jollity" "brotherhood" "Fellowship" "amity" "comaradary" "conviviality". Any of those might work (got them off of dictionary.com's thesaurus).
"We're left petite and helpless"--Should be "Are left petite and helpless" with the way the last line is laid out.
"They'd resuce me"--resuce should be rescue
"And soon I'll find
Love isn't blind,
Just stumbles in the dark. " ...Amazing....
My gods, Amanda, it's so shocking to think of how young you are. These words are filled with wisdom, your vocabulary is amazing, and some of the lines in here are breathtaking! You have a talent I only pray I had at your age! Something that I don't think I could even begin to touch on! Normally, I don't take time to really read peoples works, much less correct, but I think if you fix this up, you would have the most perfect poem I've seen posted by any Jr. member...heck...even many of the adult members! The last line "And soon I'll find/Love isn't blind,/Just stumbles in the dark." is...just...wow....
You deserve full points for this, Amanda. Just correct the errors, and I'll be glad to give you a five. Send me an email when you do, and I'll be more than happy to come back and give you all the points it deserves!
Welcome !
