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Frank Fields
Wayne Thomas
Susan Brown
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Reality
by Jennifer Campbell-Kletzli (Age: 20)
copyright 02-23-2006


Age Rating: 10 to 127

 
Peace
Impossible to even feel.
Freedom
We fight to make it real.
Poverty
Is there something we can do?
Crime
Everyday there is something new.
Serenity
A moment in our lives...
Insanity
When our Psyche over thrives...
Denial
The issues will go away.
Tranquilty
Will we ever see the day?
Dementia
We've completely lost our minds.
Inclusion
But someone still gets left behind
Savages
Eventually we'll fall
Ignorance
Lets just forget it all.


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08-18-2007 Jordan Screws    

Anthony is right. Even though it would be easy to forget all of the evils of modern life, they would not simply disappear. Every day of life brings a chance of an encounter with the evils of crime, poverty, and all-around rude people, and every day gives a new opportunity to do your best to conquer them. Enough with the philosophy... now for the poem itself.

I like the style you used, with the single word on top (the subject) and a summary of it beneath. I also liked how you made every other line rhyme. You also captured the depressing nature of modern life with the rhyming lines in a way that I have not seen in awhile. I could find no spelling errors or other mistakes of that nature. Good work.

If there is one complaint I can make, what exactly does "When our Psyche over thrives... " mean? Is it a fanciful poetic phrase that means insanity? All things considered, it is a minor complaint. With a work of this caliber it is fairly hard for me to find a problem, so that was the best I can do.

Overall, you did a good job. Thanks for sharing this with us. I look forward to reading more of your work!
02-26-2006 Anthony Lane Stahlhut    

We can't make it better by forgetting. I hope and pray everyday that others will stand up for those that cannot stand for themselves. We as brothers and sisters need to look out for one another. God bless you, Anthony
06-14-2004 Wayne Thomas    

Very good; very thoughtful. A most original method of construction. I like it.
Visitor Reads: 356
Total Reads: 382
Comments: 3

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