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**WARNING***
This story has to do with drugs, alcohol, and forms of self infliction. If you are bothered by these things, don't read any further!!
In the dead.
Lost dreams.
Lived life.
Lost life.
Not meant to die.
Great figure in the community.
I'll miss her.
Phrases used when associating with a friend that has passed on to the other world.
These are the phrases I heard, and couldn't comprehend.
I wasn't dead, I was just resting on the bathroom floor after my routinely cut with daddy's razor.
I've always woken up after my naps, and then applied another coat of black nail-polish, and lipstick, and i'm on my way to meet my friends. But if it wasn't the razor that their referring to, then what?
I remember attending a party thrown by one of the seniors in school. I was only invited because I offered to bring the alcohol.
The party was great; I even managed to get a few LSD capsules down before the cops were called. My friends and I jumped into this guys car and began to drive off. We were all piled in the back seat, laughing our heads off while the guy drove. Soon, he was laughing too. A bottle of beer was passed around, and was finished by the time it got to me.
"Hey," I said giggling. "Who finished the beer?"
The driver was beginning to confess when he took his hands off the steering wheel, and the car swerved to the right.
While we screamed and told him to keep his eyes on the road, he ignored us, and began to tell us a story about how his dog died. Getting frustrated, i climbed into the front seat and took the wheel while he spoke.
"It was incredible," he began. "He was walking around the street when BAM!" he clapped his hands together. "He got hit. Poor thing though, never saw it coming."
At this point, it began to rain, causing vision to go down the man holes with the rain. I laughed when the clapped his hands together, erupting in a fit of giggles, and just had to hold my sides. The guy laughed a bit, then took back the wheel. He began to speed up, and I didn't like it.
"I'd rather walk," I said, urging him to stop.
Unhappy sounds filled the car as the guy slowed down, and stopped. I climbed out, walked a few feet when i heard the tires screech on the concrete.
***
Then, there was beeping. I felt no pain, just incredible warmth like i'm in a warm bath. Someone was yelling commands in terms i didn't understand. The guy probably turned on the radio, and i'm back in the car.
I tried to open my eyes, but they seemed to be stuck.
It was quiet, and a cloth was put over my body. A man drowned on for a bit, then the room was quiet once again.
***
There was a gap, where there was always silence, but today, the day I had woke up, it was to those phrases. I could smell flowers and freshly dug earth...
NO!
I wanted to scream. Everything was making sense now!
The jerk had hit me with his car! I WAS GOING TO KILL HIM!
No! Don't put the earth back, don't lay me to rest in this hole with the worms and the insects. I don't deserve this kind of punishment. I promise i'll be a better daughter, sister, and friend. I'll be clean for the rest of my life. I don't want to die!
Momma, please hear me! Dad, stop them. It's me, Claire! Your only daughter, the one whom you've protected for the past fifteen years from the sounds under the bed, and the thunder. Momma, tell them to stop, Dad won't listen to me.
Please, someone, help me! I'm sorry for all the bad things I've done. I'll get help for my drinking problem. I'll move to the U.S and have Aunt Mary knock some sense into me. I'll go to boot camp, anything, just get me out of this hole!
DADDY NO!
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