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Robert Betts
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What now
by Doug Carlson (Age: 22)
copyright 06-04-2004


Age Rating: 10 to 127

  What now
Picture Credits:

What do I do now that your gone

What do I do now that I can't see you any more

What do I do now that my future is closer then ever

What do I do now that what I want is leaving

What do I do now that I want only you in my life

What do I do now that you are moving on

What do I do now that our love has grown

What do I do now that we go our separate ways

What do I do now that I want you even more

I know what I must do

And I must do it before it's too late




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06-14-2004 Joan Jotz    

Hi Doug,
Ok, I like the theme of your poem, but all those "What do I do now..." lines are a bit distracting. I like the repetition, but maybe use it every 4th or 5th line. I know you're creative enough to come up with an original solution!
However, the emotion comes across to the reader as clear as a bell.

~*~Joan~*~
Visitor Reads: 73
Total Reads: 87
Comments: 1
Praise: 5
Edits: 0

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