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I haven’t slept
For two days straight,
I feel I like I’ve been hit
Somewhere in my head,
I thought I found happiness,
Found more confusion in its stead.
So what do I do now that it’s over?
Now that you’ve told me,
It was just lies, not true.
Does it have to be your way,
Your way or no way?
Do you have to know everything
Better than I do?
You yell at me,
I just told you,
Everything she told me,
But you don’t care,
How dare I
Think to question you?
Well I’m sorry,
I’m empty,
I’m lost and I’m faded,
I’m reduced to this quivering,
Drugged sack of speed.
I’m exhausted,
I’m so awake,
I’m so depressed,
I’m so ashamed.
All I ever wanted,
Was to be as good as you.
But when it all
Comes down to size,
And we study all these
Truth and lies,
What will you see
When you study
Your hypocrisies?
Will you say that I was right?
After I stayed up all that night,
To finally
Discover,
A truth that may be me?
Or will you just go over it,
With plaster coatings,
And sewing kits?
And tell me,
Once more,
That I lied?
Because I wanted to be me,
Because I needed to be free,
Once more,
By everyone,
I’m the bad guy.
But when it all
Comes down to size,
And we study all these,
Truth and lies,
What will you see?
When you look
Into the mirror,
Behind black eyes,
And tears we cried,
Will you see,
You’re looking back at me?
Or when I finally break away,
To finally find someone,
Someday,
Will you realize,
My goodbyes,
Wasn’t just another lie?
And when it all
Comes down to size,
And we see the truth,
Beneath these lies,
Will you realize
I knew what I said?
Will you realize,
It wasn’t in my head?
How were we reduced to this?
You don’t respond when we kiss…
I tell myself that we’re all dead
And this has got be
Another sickening parody….
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