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On Line
Richard Reed Jr
Lyle Berry
Sofia Martins
David O.
4 Writers

0 Free Members

4 Members
59 Guests

Foolish
by Misty Montier
copyright 06-22-2004


Age Rating: 10 to 127

 
got some-thing
on my mind
I wanna say
to you to me
from me to you

fool-ish
I’ve been these past
few months, not counting
too long too ashamed

thought I had it right
my infinite WISE-dumb
has proven to be
more foolish than not

what did I say
to you the other day
can’t remember
only that whatever
sent you away

to my defense

I plead the 5th
I plead insanity
I plead stupidity

no

well,
to the doghouse
I go

but,
can I one day get
a get of jail free
card?

man,
this begging
thing is
hard.




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08-03-2004 Barry Clopton Lanier    

Misty, fearless imagination from the heart, very meticulously crafted for effect
07-08-2004 Mary -BrytEyz- Ball    

If I were you, I wouldn't beg. It's not lady like, it's fun, and it certainly won't make him respect you anytime soon. If you did/said something bad, an apology is most definitely appropriate. If he can't get over it... oh well! There are other fish/friends in the sea!

As for the way this is written, I don't think I'm a great critic or anything. I tend to always start a line with a capital, especially if it's the beginning of a sentence. I tend to include punctuation so the reader reads it the way I want it to be read, and I try really hard to write something lucid on the surface that any reader can appreciate while something's left unsaid between the lines for those who like to dig a little deeper. That way they have something to find if that's what they like. That's my style, and in no way will I impose that on anyone else. :-)
Visitor Reads: 171
Total Reads: 202
Comments: 2
Praise: 2
Edits: 0

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