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"Jaden, why don't you go outside and play in the snow?" Jaden's mom Caroll called up to her from downstairs. 'What's the point?' Jaden thought as she wrote in her journal about life's most depressing points 'Snow's going to melt anyway.' Caroll waited patiently for a reply, but quickly realized she wasn't going to get one. She marched up the stairs and turned to the door on her left, bursting through Jaden's door. "Are you going to answer me or not?"
Jaden answered inaudiably "No." Caroll's anger built up. "Then why don't you do me a favor and go shovel the snow out of the driveway?" Jaden sighed. "What the heck, it's not like I got anything better to do." She replied to her mom as she hopped off the bed and put her boots on and began to tie their laces.
Caroll looked around the room and adjusted her apron. The room was painted black and Marilyn Manson reigned supreme beside Alice Cooper and Kurt Cobain. A bunch of Barbie dolls lay throughout the room, stripped and had pins sticking through their heads. It seemed to Caroll surely their plastic violet eyes redone in black sharpie were crying from pain. She then caught sight of the pill bottles on her nightstand. The wooden stand, she took notice, had also been redone in black paint. She walked calmly over to them and collected them. Her anxiety, acid reflux, pain medications, and sleeping pills. She wondered how so many things could go wrong within two years.
"Jaden, why are you like this?" She motioned around the room as she made her way back to the doorframe. "I don't know. It's just me - it's the way I am." Caroll shook her head as she heard her daughter's explanation. They had never been what most people would call close, but they made do.
"What happened to our angel?" Caroll spoke in a whistful tone as she sighed. Jaden rolled her eyes. "She died, mom. A slow and painful death after her wings were clipped off and she couldn't fly anymore and she withered away into a big heap of nothingness called..." She paused to draw out the curiousity and answered in a raspy tone "Life." She gave her mom a devious smile who in return rolled her eyes.
"Must you be so over-dramatic, Jaden?" Jaden shook her head yes. "Figures. Now go do the driveway." Jaden ran out the door then took a few steps back towards her mom. She flexed her fingers in and out. Her mom sighed and handed her five dollars. Jaden smiled and ran to the end of the hall and pulled open a drawer in the desk as she looked out the window and out onto the crisp side yard. She pulled out a pair of black leather gloves than she slid onto her fingers. She saw a little girl with blonde hair making a snow angel. She didn't know who the girl was, but she seemed oddly familiar. Jaden raced down the stairs out the front door and around to the side yard. "Hey!" She shouted, hoping to get the little girl's attention, but to no avail. The girl had dissappeared, and stranger still, was the fact her snow angel had dissappeared with her.
Jaden looked around the backyard but found nothing. She looked around for any proof someone else was there, but all she found were the footprints she had left coming to find the girl. She checked around to make sure no one was watching. And when she was satisfied, she laid on her back in the snow, and swiped her arms and legs in and out and up and down. She stood up and looked down at her creation in the snow. To her dismay it looked horrible. "It's a monster... not an angel." She thought to herself as she got on her hands and knees and began to cover it with the surrounding snow, hoping to leave no trace of her being there.
When Jaden had finished shoveling the driveway, she put the shovel against the garage door and began to go inside when she heard some loud laughter. "Wait for me, Daddy!"
Jaden looked at the end of the street and saw the hot pink coat and the little blonde curls underneath it. She began to run in the direction towards the little girl.
"Please wait!" She yelled after her hoping the girl would hear "I need to talk to you!" Jaden ran until she reached the park near her house. She heard the laughter ring through the small group of trees almost resembling a miniature forest with a playground as a castle. She had often come here as a child with her father, whom she'd race to see who could reach the swings first.
If Heaven had a forest in the winter, this would be it. The sun had started to set and gave the snow the appearance of a pink hue. She remembered she used to joke with her dad that there was a carnival in Heaven and Jesus dropped his cotton candy. She was being serious with her father and felt sorry for Jesus. She smiled at the memory. It was then when her dad was alive and when life always seemed to move fast paced and she appreaciated every living moment. But not now.
Her dad used to smoke. He promised over and over he was going to quit and when Jaden was involved in a car accident coming back from a friend's slumber party, he finally did. He finally quit. But it was too late, he was diagnosed with lung cancer the following spring. He held on for six months, just long enough to see Christmas come and go, and just long enough, to see Jaden go to Junior High and be able to go to the park with her, one last time.
Jaden's attention was brought back when she heard the laughter and ran to the tire swing where she saw the all-too-familiar jacket. She hid behind a small tree a few feet from the tire swing, where the little girl was being pushed by an older man in his thirties. He wore a green jacket and had on some leather boots.
The boots brought back another memory of her father. She used to run through the house wearing his boots. She always fell over, but he always held her hand and helped her back up. She was Daddy's little girl, never anybody else's.
She focussed on the girl with who she assumed to be the father as he push her on the tire swing singing softly "Look for the rainbow in every star, find out for certain love's gonna be there for you. You'll always be someone's baby." The little girl continued laughing and humming to the tune. Jaden approached slowly and just as she walked by another tree that crossed her path, they both were gone.
She looked around astounded "Just great. Of all the people in the world to run across, I either run across ghosts or two messed up magicians on a really bad reality show."
She reached out slowly and caught the swing as it kept rocking. She set herself on it and remembered her last time talking to her dad while he pushed her on it. She remembered yelling at her dad and telling him not to leave her. They never could stay mad at each other forever.
He pushed her on the very same swing and this would be the first time she had returned since he died. She heard the man singing earlier and smiled to herself. When he finished his part in her head she sang quietly outloud as more snow flakes fell from the sky.
"I know you're gone, you said you're gone," Her voice cracked as she fought back the tears "But I can still feel you here." She felt the warm tears go down her cheeks and finally finished "You know it's time to say goodbye." She let herself fall out of the swing and onto her knees in the snow and wrapped her arms around herself as she cried.
The familiar pair of boots stepped infront of her. They were a light brown and worn out. She looked up and saw a familiar face. She got to her feet and wrapped her arms around the man.
"Why did you have to go? I miss you." The man wrapped his arms around her too and gave her the same greeting. "You were the only thing I ever had.Then you left me" She felt like the little girl and it struck her. It WAS her. She was the little girl. This was her dad. He brushed the tears off her cheeks and gave her a warm smile. She smiled back and held his hand as they began to walk together. "Dad, I miss you. Why are you here now?" She managed to choke the words out.
"God saw you and how much you hurt. He sent me back to tell you, eventually, we will be together again. Life is a gift to everyone, and the sad thing is, Christmas is over and you left your gift wrapped." Jaden smiled slightly "The gift left behind the tree." Her father smiled at her. "That's what I'm talking about. You're a very smart, loveable girl and you spend all your time being grim and alone. There are people out there all the time who are alone, who would give anything to be able to have someone to talk to...especially on Christmas."
Jaden's smile left, just as quickly as it came. "I'm happy with life, I'm just wondering why I got the bad part of it." Her dad shook his head.
"Jaden, you just have a small test. God, sometimes, doesn't seem to be a fair teacher, but it's for the best. I love you." He gave her a hug and kiss and a kiss on her cheek and recited another line of lyrics "You know it's time to say goodbye, and don't forget on me you can rely. I'll help you on your way and I'll be with you, everyday." Jaden's tears came back as unwanted visitors. "I love you." She whispered and he put his forehead to hers. She closed her eyes and focussed on his warmth and tried to lock the feeling she felt right now in her memory.
"Jaden! It's getting late!" Jaden opened her eyes and sprang around to find her mother. Jaden looked around to find her dad, but saw nothing. She walked up to her mom.
"Did you see him?!" Caroll looked confused. "See who, honey?" Jaden looked back and saw footprints in the snow that belonged to her shoes, but no one else's. Jaden sighed. "Nevermind. My hallucinagetic mind is getting to me."
Caroll held her arm out and gave Jaden a hug as they began to walk back to her mom's car. "Who were you talking about anyway honey?" Jaden sighed again.
"You're gonna think I'm a nut." Caroll smiled with a gleam in her eye "Try me." She said. Jaden cleared her throat and they both froze from getting in the car to listen. "I saw Dad." Caroll gave a half-smile. "Sweety, you know he's gone." Jaden sighed and got in the car almost slamming the door.
"I knew you wouldn't believe me, Mom.I'm the only sane one here." She got her seatbelt buckled and looked out the window.
Caroll responded "Oh, I wouldn't say that Madame I-See-Dead-People." Her mom suddenly gasped. Jaden turned around to see what suprised her mom.
"What happened? Lose the number to the asylum?" Caroll looked at her rear-view mirror and took a gold locket off it. Jaden looked unimpressed "Oh wow. We almost got the car stolen by a jeweler!" Caroll looked back at Jaden with the necklace in her hand.
"Jaden..." Her voice trailed off for a second. "This was your father's." Jaden rolled her eyes 'And here come the whole you-ARE-nuts jokes.' She thought to herself. Caroll's eyes remained wide and her mouth stayed opened.
"No, Jaden. He was buried with this around his neck. Open it." Jaden opened the locket and found herself staring at herself and her mom. "He was really there..." Jaden said as she examined the necklace.
"Jaden, that's not all." Jaden looked at her mom "I saw this little girl earlier that looked just like you as a kid -hot pink jacket and all. She was running around everywhere in the house and whenever I found her she'd dissappear."
Jaden gave a half-hearted smile as she heard Elvis Presley sing "Are you Lonesome Tonight?" Caroll came in with a cup of hot chocolate and gave it to Jaden. They gave each other a short hug and Caroll began to walk upstairs to go to sleep. Jaden raced up and stopped her "Mom." Caroll turned around and looked at Jaden giving her her attention. "About dad, mom, he told me I was wasting my life dispairing over him."
Caroll cleared her throat. "Yes, he's right. You can't spend your life focussing on someone else who's not gonna be with you." Jaden shook her head "I know. I just really miss him." Caroll sighed "I know. I do, too."
Jaden threw her arms around her mom and gave her a tight hug "I love you." Jaden said to her mom. Her mom smiled over Jaden's shoulder. "Haven't heard that in a while. I love you too, honey." Jaden looked at her mom with tears in her eyes. "I think he was trying to tell you that no matter what, he's always there. And he's always gonna be there." Jaden shook her head. "I know. I know."
Caroll began walking up to her room to go to sleep when she was called again "Mom." Caroll once again turned. "Will you...will you... watch the lights with me on the tree?" Caroll looked at her strange "We used to do that when you were littler." Her mom walked down the stairs and they walked down the stairs to the coach. "I'm making up for that right now." Jaden said as they sat down together.
The house smelled like warm cherry pie from the numerous candles that were lit and it had a warm glow from the fire place and the Christmas lights. They thought about today's events and looked at how much everything's changed as Sarah McLachlan's Angel played and filled the background.
When the silence was finally broken "Mom?" Caroll once again looked at her daughter "Hmm?" Came the reply from Caroll.
Jaden smiled at her mom as she hugged her and closed her eyes "Merry Christmas."
Caroll looked at her daughter and kissed her on her forehead. "You too, baby. You too."
~*~*~*~*~**~~**~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Author's Note: The things the father said to his daughter were lyrics from "Goodbye" by the Spice Girls incase you were wondering. The people Jaden saw were not ghosts, but were memories. The father could've came back as an angel or whatever depending on your interpetation. I just finished writing this so, I decided to post it now instead of when Christmas finally came around. Hope you enjoyed it!
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