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IAmNothing(story of my life)

by Cortney Jaruzel (Age: 27)
copyright 06-29-2004

Age Rating: 13 +

Break the glass, cut myself. Break the glass, cut myself. Cut, cry, suffer, smile. Cut, cry, suffer, smile. Do it all over again and again. I picked up a pencil, I wrote it on the wall, it says it all. "I AM NOTHING". Now you see my world and how I am being told it's wrong. I grabbed a piece of glass and cut my hand. The blood seemed to be everywhere. My bloody hand touched the wall, and my tears fell strait down. I screamed and wasn't heard. I kept cutting and cutting. Never stop. This is the pain, inside of me. I call the pain, "The Killer", because it's killing me slowly inside, causing me to slowly kill the outside. Taste the blood, this is who I am. Taste the fear, inside of me. Taste the pain, placed upon me. Taste the hate, I still have. ***SCREAMING***

There's nothing left of me,
nothing inside.
I have nothing to give but,
pain and lies.

Not a thing to love,
nothing to want.
you'll feel sorry,
when I am gone.

I am nothing,
I spelt it out,
it's all over the walls,
you know what it's all about.

you caught nothing,
you let my tears fall.
Millions on voices,
they all call.

Nothing, I am.
Nothing, I am.
Nothing, I am.
Nothing... Nothing... Nothing.... NOTHing, NOTHing, NOTHING... NOTHING.... NOTHINNNNNNGG!!!!! *SCREAM*

//These eyes conceal what even I can't tell you...

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        10-26-2008     Emily Garwood        

Interesting piece this specially being half story half poem. like some of the other comments say its really easy for some of us to relate to you and this definatly brings back memories but you cuaght me of gaurd on something you say in the poem that you're nothing not worth it etc but you've made it clear someones there by your side trying to help just by after saying
"I spelt it out,
It's all over the walls,
You know what it's all about."

and not just that but you said when you're gone that they'd be sorry.

Maybe you should let that someone special in 'cause you obviously not nothing to someone....just a thought though

keep up the good work as you write you'll find it gets ride of more stress than you can imagine.


        06-24-2008     Brooke Marquette        

Wow, a powerful piece...I liked how it was part story-poem...very neat! I totally can relate to this, the ache you try to hide, that you let loose behind closed true.

        12-02-2007     Lauren Turner        

In my opinion, this would be better suited for a poem! You did great.
The ending was awesome.

        10-10-2007     Leah Gonzalez        

Wow- i really liked this piece. I can totally relate to the emotions that you wrote. The flow of this was amazing and you captured the emotion of self hate perfectly. In the poem/prose part of this piece, i would capitalize the fist letters in each line. I LOOOOOOOVVVVVVEEEEEE the last statement. simply love it- it's such a stunner! (did you put the // in front of it for a reason?) I've written a poem or two about cutting, so check those out. I feel like nothing alot, but you shouldn't feel that way. You are something (even though i know little about you), because you can write great pieces that will touch people in the smallest ways.

        06-29-2004     Toni Sweeney        

Wow!! I hope this is not true because you are something. You are you and you shall let no one tell you other wise. Please email me telling if this is true or not. If you are cutting yourself please stop before you really badly hurt yourself.
Toni S.

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