~Demons that hide~
by
Jeniffer Brand
(Age: 38)
copyright 07-18-2004
Age Rating: 13 to 127
I wonder how people really see me?
Can they actually see what I hide?
My play, my front, can they see I'm not free?
Can they detect what I carry inside?
What if someone finds out I'm not what I show?
What if someone finds out I'm not strong and secure?
Will they stick around, or will they "up and go?"
Will they still be my friend and like me for sure?
I'm scared, I can't let down my guard.
I'm scared of myself, of what hides deep within.
Years of holding back, years of being scarred.
Years of locking doors, years of hiding sin.
I feel there's a hole, it's dark and cold.
I feel there's an emptiness, it's wide and deep.
It's in me alright, it's big and bold!
It's in me alright, my soul wants to creep!
I want to run, scream, and let it all out!
I want to cry, laugh, and yell "let me be free!"
"I'm scared of myself", I just want to shout!
I'm scared of myself.....can't anyone see?!
I've made up my mind, I have to make changes.
I have to face my demons and face my fears.
I've made up my mind, to hit from all ranges.
I have to face myself, and see through the tears.
I don't know when, and I don't know where.
But my true self will show, naked or bare!
Can someone just help me, can someone be there?
Will anyone see me, will anyone care?
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Well the poem is a tear jerker and the feelings true for everyone I have known in life. Will they like me if they knew? They say the same thing! We all have skeletons in our closets. Some are big boned! Your life will be remembered by what you do and who you are, not what you have been forced to do to survive. Some of us have pasts that we don't want anyone to know about. Some put on airs to keep people from learning about the lives they lead now. Anyway I CARE. With love and kisses to you and yours, Anthony
I think you told me you were German, but I could be wrong. I say this because you made me think of the term "bildingstroman" (the spelling is probably off) which refers to a novel that teaches self-wisdom. Since I'm familiar with this sort of novel, your poem reiminds that esssentially all I learn and read from others becomes a reflection of myself: a path to self-knowledge, the hardest path to follow. Good therapy does this too!
I loved this poem.
We all have inner demons to deal with and I think you painted a very vivid picture of what it can be like. I liked your rhyme scheme and the flow was very good. Very nice write. Take care and Have fun. Steve
Jen, we all have demons that we need to face in order to become who we are meant to be. Write and free yourself..that's the way others will know and care.
Nancy
*sighs* Sadly enough love, we all hide our demons. Even the purest of hearts do. But as many have said the answers lie only in you. Who cares what the world thinks of you...Your Happy with you right...*nods* Then that is all that matters. As long as we are satisfied with ourselves, then I say the rest of the world can go somewhere else.
I know what you mean in the poem, I feel exactly the same way. Every day. At school, everyone knows me as "that weird, brainy kid". ha. They know nothing... I love this poem, true feelings lie in it.
The answer is within you. But then there may very well be someone special who will support you as well. A truly revealing and open honest poem, Jen. Hope all is well for you. God bless!
"I have to face myself, and see through the tears". That is your answer! Beautiful, right answer! But even if nobody can help you, you can find many right answers in yourself. And many wonderful questions as well.
I so love your poem, Jeniffer!
With love,
Irina.
You've tackled the age old question of facing one's fears and demons. A nice conveyance for what you've described as a courageous venture. And it does take courage to face one's demons. Very nice Jen.
I carry many faces in my pocket, one for this one for that, a soul searching for the dream, I am still reaching for. No demon will own me, yet I wander from place to place wearing which ever face is appropriate, in my writing I seek acceptence and bury the fascade. It is good to look at yourself every once in a while, you know a face lift. Your talent is the expresion of words creating image and vision, real or unreal
feelings expressed are impressive..Walt
Despite sounding like a Bible thumper, I would like to let you know that SOMEONE does care! (God) And HE cares very much!
I've felt like you many times (as does any teen full of angst) and have written about it a couple times. Once recently in my poem that's still in workshop and another in an article called Fencing for life. I'd LOVE to know what you think about them!
Welcome !
