a little girl
by
Paula T.
(Age: 15)
copyright 07-29-2004
Age Rating: 7 to 127
Picture Credits:
A little girl sat on a swing
Waiting for the school bell to ring
She took one step, then she took two.
Then she stooped down to tie her shoe.
Suddenly she felt somebody kick her back.
All just because she was black.
Running home, tears stinging her cheeks.
She stayed home for too many weeks.
Prejudice really is not fair.
But you could find it everywhere.
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Its sad that we don't accept others when they don't look like us. I think that it is a learned reaction. The TV and the news and all the organizations that are there to help stop this seem to me just to add to it. This is still a very wrong thing and your poem is a great way to get the message out! Anthony
That's so sad!
In Wyoming I can't say we have to much decrimination, in fact we don't have much of anything besides cows, but thats not the point.
This terrific, and it teaches a good lesson.
Keep up the good work!
Content: Couldn't be better. This is an issue that needs to be rectified and I'm afraid only God can do that. We can help, however, by starting first with ourselves, then with our friends and family, then neighbors and the community, and onward and upward.
People discriminate against more than color, such as age, sex, religion, and more. I have, unfortunately, been the brunt of racial discrimination as well.
My mother is Cherokee and Phillipino, my father Bohemian, Cherokee, and who knows what else. Me? I'm an American Mutt and for some reason, instead of all sorts of groups claiming me... they all reject me because I'm not one of them. I am darker than white, whiter than black, I'm not hispanic or oriental... so I am nothing to many people. The thing that counts the most is that Jesus died for me and that makes me somebody pretty special!
Poetry wise: There are some rhymes though the flow is a bit off, especially at the end. With some work this could really get your message out there and help people become aware that there is still a problem.
Descrimination does still exsist, and your poem shows that. One of my moms friends was bulleyed on a regular basis for no reason. And really horrible stuff was done to her, like she was stabbed with a pen. But I do agree with Lisa that maybe the last few lines could be changed to sound a bit better.
Discrimination is a horrible thing, many of us know how it can be. Discrimination wasn't just against blacks though, it still exhists in fact! For instance, Im a guy with long hair and I've had teachers drag me up stairs and people attempt to kill me. So when people tell you discrimination doesn't exhist any more, Paula, don't listen to them. In fact, racial discrimination is still around, its a terrible thing.
hi paula! when i came to read this poem, i had no idea i would be reading a poem about the world's discrimination. i wish that everyone could just lvoe each and every color in the rainbow. sadly, the world has a lot of work to do before we become completely diverse. this poem has great potential to become something even better. Your first five liens were great. however, i would consider spelling out one and two instead of 1 and 2. I would cut out 'She skipped to school' and then organize it from there. perhaps you may want to try soemthing like this: "She felt someone kick her back,
All because she was black.
The tears in her eyes stung streaming down
She wanted to leave, and move out of town."
This is a great poem, and all it needs is some cleaning up! good job!
Welcome !
