why you should tie your shoes
by
Paula T.
(Age: 15)
copyright 07-29-2004
Age Rating: 10 to 127
Picture Credits:
"Tie you shoes, Bill,"Grandma Thora chided.
"Why should I?" Bill said, sticking his stubble of a chin out defiantely.
"Or you'll end up just like Amy." Grandma Thora said, knowing how to attract the attention of her most stubborn grandchild.
"What happened to her Grandma Thora?" Bill asked excitedly. He loved Gradma Thora's stories.
"Oh, nothing," Grandma Thora said nonchalantly, watering her plants.
"Please, Grandma Thora, tell me," Bill begged, tugging on the hem of Grandma Thora's skirt.
"Oh fine," Grandma Thora said, putting down her watering can and sitting down on the rocking chair that she used to tell stories. Sitting Bill on her lap she started her tale.
"Amy had three sisters and one brother and a mother and father. She was walking to the park with her sisters and brother when the stoplight started blinking red.
The colors fascinated her and she stopped in the middle of the traffic. "Amy hurry up," her sisters and brother called out to her. She ignored them. Leaving the other kids on the sidewalk with the older brother, her oldest sister hurried after Amy and pulled her by the arm. A speeding car came out of nowhere.It missed them both by the length of a shoelace.The car caught the tip of Amy's untied shoelace and dragged her out of her sister's arms. Amy was dragged after the speeding car. Amy struggled to get her shoe off but was knocked unconcious when the car passed over a bump. Luckily as the car went over the bump it let go of the shoelace. Not realizing the danger as adrenaline surged through her body, her sister jumped on the back of the first car she saw. Then she jumped off the car and landed next to her sister.Amy's whole body was scratched but she was still breathing. Amy's sister picked Amy up and jumped over a bike, not realizing how high she had just jumped. Landing on the sidewalk she felt
her sister's frail body for a pulse. Finding one she prayed to God that her sister could stay alive for five more minutes. Then she ran the five blocks to where her brother was standing with her two younger sisters, cradling Amy gently in her arms. She screamed into his mesmerized face "Take them home." Holding her sister's fragile and completely white body with one hand she called the ambulance on her cell phone. After giving them the address she checked Amy's pulse one more time.
Weak, but alive. Amy survived the operation, but the accident left her damaged both physically and emotionally. And that is why you should tie your shoes." Grandma Thora finished dramatically.
Billy was looking at her with wide eyes.
"Grandma?" Billy said, not looking his Grandma in the eye.
"Can I tell you somein'?"Billy asked shyly.
"Sure you can,Billy,"Grandma Thora said.
Leaning close to her ear he whispered "I don't know how to tie my shoes."
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lol...Random enough? Anyhow, I'm rather pissed off today and it was good to get a laugh in... There's a few grammar and spelling errors, but there's nothing too major. I double knot my shoes...I usually wear boots too, but recently I could only get ankle highs so I'm back to tying them. The only annoying this is when they untie and get stuck in the gear shifts of my bike. :D Konnowichiwa blood, when that happens... Interesting little story keep up the good work.
May the divine darkness be with you,
Leigh of the Commenting Crusaders
Lol...i still have that problem! i wont tie my shoes because they end up getting untied anyway, i just tie them in knots or stick them inside my shoe. lol Such a good story!
LOL.. cute story. I almost felt like I was in a BIONIC MAN episode there for a moment. (Uh, did I just date myself? LOL) I think I'll have my children read this to get them to tie THIER shoes! lol.
One thing I noticed first off the bat is that the picture is of me and my grandmother. You can read my story where I posted it at http://www.prose-n-poetry.com/display_work/4537. Her name is Mary Ball as well and she's the most wonderful person on the earth. Then again, I am sort of biased there. LOL.
Keep writing. I like reading the innocence in your work.
This was so cute! You have a great ending! ^-^ Cept, just one little thing, the probability of getting your shoe lace caught in a tire is about two hundred trillian, one hundred and one million, twenty hundred and two million, five thousand, twelve hundred, and forty three to ZERO! LOL well... unless it's a rlly gigantic shoe lace! n_n (on second thought, this would be a pretty useful story to bigfoot! :)
Jee. That was a bit scary. Being pulled by a car by a shoelace. you did a good job. There also many spelling or gramer errors in the story. You can use Charlie to find all the mistakes. If you need help still email me and I will help you out.
Toni S.
Awww Maybe just say her nice shoelaces were dirtied? Seems such a grusome tale for someone at around 6, or 7. Or younger. But maybe, instead of dripping or covered with blood, make it more age-appropriate for little Bill.
I thought it was cute but there are a couple things I don't understand (just my opinion)
1. How old is Bill? Young enough to sit on his grandma's lap but not old enough to tie his shoe. Would the Grandma really tell her grandson about an accident that caused the girl to drip with blood?
2. The girl's sister had to run back to find her siblings after the crash, but wouldn't they have noticed them being carried off by cars?
Also, read through and check for spelling mistakes.
Keep writing!
Welcome !
