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Egad
As I crawled out of bed, I knew this day was going to be different. I felt my spirits rise as I headed to the bathroom and didn’t trip over anything on the floor. The water rushed to greet me and it felt like an old friend’s conversation. Reliable, safe, invigorating. Even the shampoo smelled differently that I could almost taste the fruity flavor. Freshly brewed coffee awaited me as I finished my shower because I remembered to set it last night and added the water to the pot. Have forgotten so many times to add coffee, water or to set the timer, was almost pointless to have an automated one. Not today, today was going to be different; I vowed right then and there nothing was going to get me down and would relish what the day would bring me.
After adding the finishing touches to my suitcase, well actually, had to repack because I couldn’t remember where I put my night clothes nor my personal items, I sat on the suitcase and the zipper didn’t give me a problem. I was so happy I whistled on the way to the kitchen. There was the coffeepot waiting for me to pour that wonderful dark brown liquid into my duck-faced “I DON’T DO MORNINGS” cup. Just a bit more creamer and am good to go. Picked up the phone to call Alice to make sure she was still stopping by to pick me up. Yes, woohoo, she is on her way and am ever so happy she is driving since didn’t want to leave my baby all alone in the parking lot. After all, the truck has seen enough to last ten life times, and the last days shouldn’t be ones of non-movement. Is breaking my heart to even think of the day I have to trade Man in but that is in a few weeks so won’t let that affect my day. He has been good to me but the years haven’t been good to him. Ok enough of that. Besides, last time I left Man, Mario didn’t pick him up for two days, left him all alone to face the elements. Kiss, kiss, bye Mario. Left enough frozen food so he won’t starve.
“Hey there Ali, glorious morning isn’t it?” I commented to Alice as I put my suitcase in the back seat. Am so glad I was able to put all my stuff in one suitcase because it looks like Alice brought her entire wardrobe. Let’s see, a couple of suitcases and a couple of carry on bags, yep, that’s her for ya. Never saw the likes and each time we travel for a couple of days, it seems she always brings more things. The more days, the fewer bags though since she likes shopping and bringing home a new wardrobe. “Yes, Ali, I brought the itinerary and the vouchers for the hotel. Mario wouldn’t let me leave until he saw I had that stuff due to the last fiasco. Ha ha ha remember? Is funny now but sure, as heck wasn’t then. So we got lost and wound up in the wrong hotel, we had an adventure the way I look at it. Besides, our luggage arrived with us so we were all set."
Oh My! Look at that line, snakes clear around the black lines and back again. Good grief are we going to check in on time? Knew we should have left a wee bit earlier but NO, Ali had to run to get her Latte. Ok, better get my driver’s license and ticket out and keep in my hand so I can get through that line quicker. “No ma’am, no one handed me a package without my knowledge before I got here. No ma’am, no one approached me to offer me a package….” Jeez, would think we would know if someone we didn’t know tried to give us something that wasn’t ours and have enough sense not to even take it. Hmm did she say gate four or five? Oh well, they are side by side so doesn’t matter, am sure Ali got the right one.
“What do you mean gate five is across the terminal? Egad! You want me to go where? Can you point me in the right direction? Wait, draw me a picture will ya? “ I screeched to the smiling person behind the counter. What human can possibly fight that crowd? Muttered to myself “She isn’t wearing spiked red heels, so of course she is smiling because she is thinking of us making that mad dash in heels!” This is great, now have to run like am being chased by the bulls from Spain. Ha, too bad the commercial cameras aren’t on Ali and I because we are going to have the classic run through the airport. We could show our pearly whites and then jump over… OH my what am I thinking? Ok, deep breathe now and run!
Whew finally, seat 14B is all mine. Have my book, have my water, am good to go. Block out the noise, the pre-flight information, Ali’s yakking and lose myself in this book again. If I remember correctly, Corrine was about to her lose her virginity (against her will) to Cord, under the vast Texas stars, classic romantic bull. I often wonder to myself why all the women in these books are virgins and why they are often without family and penniless and the man is always rich, ruthless and virile. OH the virile part I thoroughly agree with! And again, as usual, I ask myself why am I reading a book like this? Oh well, is good reading and might learn something historical from it.
OH MY GOD! Ali, did you know they put blue stuff in the toilet? How am I going to explain a blue stain on my panties to Mario? Dayum, I went to sit down and the plane lurched, LURCHED do you hear me? I hit the bottom with a loud thunk, am sure everyone heard it! You didn’t hear me yell “OH CHIT, OH CHIT, OH CHIT “??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY BUTT IS MORE THAN LIKELY BLUE NOW!??? Sorry, didn’t mean to yell at you, isn’t your fault this monstrosity of aluminum isn’t stable. Oh man, I didn’t even think of that! Quit laughing Ali it isn’t all that funny, if it is blue will be because of the stain and a huge bruise, I hit the bottom HARD I tell you! Do you think Mario will believe I got a blue butt from going potty in the plane ride from hell? Ali! Stop laughing! Do you have a blue slip I can borrow so my butt won’t show through my white one? GGGGRRRR hell’s bell’s Ali stop laughing!
Well hell, what do you mean we are going to circle for an hour or more? This isn’t a misquito hovering over a fresh vein ya know. Good grief are those clouds? Ok so am overreacting but please bear with me, my husband would say is because am not in control here and relying on someone else to get me somewhere goes against my grain. Hours, or was that minutes, of sheer hell and terror! And Corrine thought she had problems warding off Cord! That is baby play compared to this.
Mama Mia! Are those thunderstorm clouds over there? And did I just hear lightening strike the plane? Is that smoke? Did I just hear the flight attendant tell us to buckle up and put our heads in the crash position? Am I wearing my new underwear? Does it matter? Hold my hand Ali! What do you mean we have to divert to Dallas due to technical maintenance? HOLY COW, am going to meet Corrine and Cord! Oh damn, they aren’t real. Am I dreaming? Dallas? Where did Atlanta go? My ticket says Atlanta, dammit; I want to land there! Don’t tell me to shut up Ali! Yes I know am babbling! Ok, here, take your hand back, sorry about the blue color of it. Ok, you can have the pillow back too, anything else I can do for you your majesty? Whose hand? I gave you back, oh, sorry sir, thanks for the use of your hand and am sorry I squeezed it so hard, thought was Ali’s hand. Yes, I realize we are going to land safely and have a connecting flight to Atlanta, but jeez, I hate flying! Oh, you noticed? OH sir, please don't get her started on my possible blue butt! Yes sir, please make it a triple! And I thought the last trip was an adventure, ha, has nothing on this one. And I was going to relish this day? What was I thinking?
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