Observe
by
Barry Clopton Lanier
(Age: 52)
copyright 08-04-2004
Age Rating: 13 to 127
Ask the beasts and they shall teach you,
And the feathered birds of the air will tell.
The damp coldness and grime of fresh Mother Earth reveal my humility,
As the fish of the sea declare my place in nature well.
Look up into the clear, star studded night,
A bit to tame, and wonder why?
Refrain from the insanity of life,
Validating the need to gaze upward each night.
The melodic, windblown rhythm of dogwood branches,
Tapping on my bedroom window awakens me in verse.
Maybe I regret reaching this age of enlightenment,
Knowing my virginity was lost at birth.
Walking out going to work I observe the tendrils of ivy
choking out their host tree,
Yet today, into uncharted territory I sail.
Pray my awareness of the mystical, wistful creations
around me,
Be there until I bid farewell.
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Barry,
I do love this piece so. It puts thing into perspective, makes the reader aware of how small we really are in the cosmic scheme of things. You've captured an awakening of the character in this piece, so aware and amazed by all that is extrordinary in nature.
Some lines I felt rambled just a tad...ex:
"Walking (out going) to work I observe tendrils of ivy..."
The words in ( ) could easily be dropped, and the meaning still remain with a bit less clutter.
Just a sugestion.
Ah to be away from the things of man!!!
Well written, Barry!
The melodic, windblown rhythm of dogwood branches,
Tapping on my bedroom window awakens me in verse.
....
I read those lines and images of the musical CHICAGO crept to my consciousness where she sleeps in the jail and the noises around her create such music.
And music of mystical, wistful creations ... but aren't they beautiful to listen to, breathtaking to behold as they gently rock your consciousness. Yes, on a higher plane do they reside.
All life is music, all creation a melody. I believe we have a choice to act in harmony... or not. That is why some lives seem flat, and others... so very full. :-)
Wonderful descriptions and imagery, Barry. I especially enjoyed the mood this set, the peace and serenity it offered the reader...like a soothing balm to the soul.
Warm Regards,
Lyle