A Man Scorned
by
Jack Curson
(Age: 32)
copyright 08-20-2004
Age Rating: 10 to 127
In memories of you
I drown slowly into the depths of devotion.
Choking steadily upon your deceit,
Gasping for the refreshment of Hope.
A life lost in the shadows,
Dressed in the fashion of true love.
The breath of me is no more.
Jerky motions of servitude,
Cringe in failed attempts
To bring this broken heart to beat once more.
To no avail this lifeless body drifts
On the open sea of my now empty soul.
Can you hear the beat of my whispering heart?
Sorrow reaches holding the key to a door marked “Love”.
Blank stares rage about.
Feelings left to fend for themselves.
A war within creeps along, staggered,
This army draws armaments to wake the storms that brew this discontent.
Calling to me from a distance unknown,
I pound on this door for which the key does not work anymore.
Comforted only by this malcontent,
Life seems to beckon me on, willing to lead me through this sea of grief.
The waves of her deceitful heart can ravage me no more.
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It is true that most of us go through these times of pain. though no one can explain as to why we do the things we do for the ones we love, we can neither explain the reasons why to anyone else. As Anthony says, Cherish what you have, move on to the Future, you never know what Hopes and Dreams life will bring you next. Great write and a great peice to read. This was the first time I have had the chance to rumage through your write, I do believe that you are a great rising poet.
I think this is very sad, yet in the end the author moves on, as we all have to do from time to time. Love like life, though wonderful is not garenteed to to last even one more minute. Charish what you have while you have it and be happy for the time you have. Great write asalways. Thanks, Anthony
Hi Jack,
This piece just screams "REVENGE", but the speaker wills himself to go on. This reads well, you give the reader many clues to the agony....maybe too many? A little more mystery would be good, and you may want to drop ciche' phrases like "in wolve's clothing". It doesn't add much to the feeling of this piece.
"A life lost in shadows" stands quite well on it's own, and leaves the reader with a bit of tension.....not knowing what will happen next.
I enjoyed the read.
Joan
Welcome !
