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Ugh, men are a pain? I definately have a good idea what you're feeling like. One of my closest ex's took off on me for a week... I was so angry... but after days I just wanted to see him again.. and when he came back, I was just happy to see him and hurt a bit. It was weird...
Kind of seems like mixed emotions. I was wondering if you should possibly change the word friend to boyfriend? I don't know it kind of seems like it though. Definatly mixed emotions like you despise that person but yet you say you want them back. So i don't know. Overall it was a pretty good piece. Keep up the good work.
there is a voice in this poem that is clear, a home town softness, grammar and word use fit the feel not the Liberian, emotion speaks volumes, creativity of heart, for printing a fix or two, but I enjoyed the craft.. Walt
Caitlin,
You have the makings of a very good poem here.You try to show some feeling and succeed, and that's always good. In my opinion it could use a little color. You might look at some of my poems for an example of what I mean. Many have said and I agree, Show, don't tell. Example: My brown eyes rimmed with tears when I knew you'd left me.
As I said, just an example. Keep writing and rewriting. It's the best way to improve. Oh, and "your" should be changed to "you're". Good luck. Wayne
there is an error in the grammar...I think you mean "you're" instead of "your" in the title and also again when you say "your all I wanted" when it should be "you're all I neede"...the poen has good flow though...just some adjustments and it will read much better
Welcome !
