Lasting Love
by
Brittney N. N.
(Age: 17)
copyright 02-21-2005
Age Rating: 10 to 127
All through life,
loves comes and gose.
But how dose one keep love forever?
Is what i'd like to know.
All through my life i've had troubles,
with love coming and going all to quickly.
All I ever wanted was for love to stay forever,
but after many loves my heart became weakly.
I started to give up,
I thought I'd never love again.
Soon hatred came,
hatred twords all men.
I hated men,
for they had broke me heart.
Again, again and again.
After years of harboring hatred,
hatred twords all earth men,
one more came into my life.
When we met,
his heart was all too weak.
A girl had made his heart like mine,
very meek.
He harbored a hatred for women,
I harbored hatred twords men.
As we begun to trust each other,
our hearts started to mend.
We soon felt loved,
love that was unable to express in words.
Our undying love,
never twisted or curved.
We swore to each other,
we would stay in love forever.
Years and years pass,
and were still together.
And as we had swore long ago,
out love lasted forever.
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you recommend or rate the work highly...
Very nice, it's also an inspiring story. It also shows that there's infections and love. Infatuations are the thrill of liking someone very deeply, but it fade. Once the thrill subsides there's nothing left. Love on the other hand, is still present and burning in our hearts even after the thrill is gone. It's a nice story you're telling here and a sad one. This poem doesn't dive into oblivion and pull out the deepest darkness, but I still enjoyed it. You need to capitalize your "I've's". And there's a few more minor grammar errors but nothing major. You don't need punctuation on each line wither. Overall, I liked this open and the story it tells. Good work!
Like all your poems I have read so far, you really need to do something about your spelling. Writing poetry is a good way to practice and check spelling. To spell correctly is to find a good job when you are older. (oops, I'm starting to sound like a dad)
this was a good poem. it takes one to know one. love comes and goes you just have to wait untill the right one shows up at the front door of your heart, with a key at hand
This is an awesome poem. What you said about love was true. You go through many heart breaks before you will ever find the person you love. I am glad that at the end you found someone that truly loved you and didn't break your heart. There are a few spelling mistakes throught the poem. to fix those you can use charlie the spell checker/dictionary. Keep up the good work.
Toni S.
Welcome !
