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Orange Raindrops
by Andrea Jeanette DiGiantomasso (Age: 22)
copyright 09-23-2004


Age Rating: 13 to 127

 
It's dark outside~
Was it dark for you too?
The rain was glowing orange,
Immersed in the light from streetlamps
Pushing their way down to the ground below...

You look up
I look back down
And your eyes whisper
Words I can't understand, or
Maybe I just don't want to understand.
The latter is the more likely, just so you know.

You take me
In your arms and
Hold me tightly, never
Letting go of my waist under
neath your fingertips, my breath
is short and far between, and i can't
even look you in the eye any
more

oh

gravity
pins me to
the ground but i
am still flying over
the river Danube
waltzing
to my own beat
not of my
heart but
the pittering of
the tears in my eyes
hitting the ground
beside the orange raindrops
i want to stay
like this forever

so i'm saying good-bye
before i get the chance.


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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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09-26-2004 Joan Jotz    

Hi Andrea,
Wow, this is a wonderful write. You had my attention from the first word till the last lines. It has good tension, builds nicely, and you imagery is very good. I also like the shape of the poem, very interesting. Quite a refreshing piece, good work!


My only suggestion would be to add some punctuation so it doesn't read like one long, drawn out sentence.

~*~Joan~*~
Visitor Reads: 470
Total Reads: 476
Comments: 1

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