Baby, It's Amazing
by
Delaney Lindley
(Age: 18)
copyright 09-26-2004
Age Rating: 13 to 127
I kept the radio on
There were times in my life
I almost was completely gone
I thought I couldn't live
Not one more moment for waiting around
+And it's amazing+
With a flick of the light
You finally find yourself alone
+And it's amazing+
You almost lose yourself
When everything else is gone
As the song turned off
I found myself drowning
Lost in an endless sea of faces
Divided in two
Free falling down
Just how far can you fly with broken wings?
+And it's amazing+
With a flick of the light
You find yourself alone
+And it's amazing+
You almost go insane
When everything else in the world
Is gone
I wasn't gonna stick around
To find how much farther there was to go
Reaching in the distance
Blindly walking to nowhere that I know
And I got there
Nothing much is there outside of the show
+And baby, it's amazing+
With a flick of the light
You finally find yourself alone
+And it's amazing+
How an angel of mercy can deceive you
When everything's gone
+And it's amazing+
With a flick of the light
You find your phone
Disconnected
+And it's amazing+
When you're finally blinded
You finally see the light
And baby, when you lose your grip
And continue on the ride
It's just so amazing
Saying a prayer for all the broken hearts
Tonight.
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Hey Delaney,
Tthis sounds like a song to me, never the less it is an interesting write. All the comparisons you make using "And it's amazing, With the flick of the light" Clever writing, but I would like to see some punctuation so the reader has a chance to pause and digest your words.
One line I think you could make better:
"And I got there,
Nothing much is there outside of the show."
You use 'there' quite close together... you could actually just drop 'is there' and the sentence will still be just as effective.
"Nothing much outside of the show."
(just a suggestion)