Grammar Police Wannabe
by
Betty Eskdale
(Age: 63)
copyright 09-03-2001
Age Rating: 10 to 127
Some expressions just about do me in, like, you know, eh?
While I am not an authority on speaking, I must protest the use of common phrases or expressions such as never. Does everyone know what never means? It means not ever. If I fail to do something, I can state that I did not do it. It sounds like an answer to an accusation to say I never did it because to say I never did it is to say, not once, ever in my life did I do this and it is so terribly important to me that I must state unequivocally that I never did it.
To try is to make an attempt, so we try to do things. If we try and do something, that means we succeeded. It wouldn’t be necessary to say try then, because the thing is accomplished, so we try to learn or try to see logic. Are you getting my drift?
Some wonderful people speak very badly and it is painful to listen to them. Wouldn’t it be better to have someone listening to you, or reading your submission and enjoying what they were getting out of it than to have them subconsciously correcting your speech and missing the point of what you were trying to tell them?
I wouldn’t want anyone to feel guilty about grammatical errors. We are inundated with poor grammar everyday from sources who should know better. The newspapers have inconsistencies in their descriptions of victims or perpetrators. It seems that a person of 18 can be an adult, a youth or a teenager depending on the story.
Headlines are often misleading. Not too long ago a headline blazed “Scouts dishonored “ (the story was about a dishonest person the Scouts had trusted who embezzled their money). The Scouts are still honorable, they just have been swindled.
Instead of asking someone if they have moved or have a new telephone number, I hear people ask, “has your address or phone number changed in any way?” (In what way would it change? It is an inanimate object.) I just would love to jump up and answer that one (“It has only changed numerically”) but I hold my tongue.
I know some neat guys who forget to use the helping word have before words like seen, done and been; it sounds ignorant. The men are really nice and fairly well educated, but they sound like dummies to me. It is hard for me to accept what they are telling me as truth when they speak so poorly.
I was brought up with such an appreciation for the English language that I suffer when I listen to people, who were brought up speaking English, murder the language. I feel so sorry for people who come here from another culture and try to learn to speak well when there are such poor examples of speaking everywhere they turn.
A recently retired football coach used to be a substitute teacher where I was attending high school; he was a lovely speaker, a jock who wasn’t afraid to speak properly so I told him how much I respected him and admired him for that.
Fitting in and having fun may mean using some silly terms or phrases, and that is fine. It is great to have fun with words; that is why Dr Seuss is so popular. We like puns and plays on words, but let’s use language appropriately and shine instead of sounding like ignoramuses (or is it ignorami? No I checked the dictionary, it is ignoramuses, weird word, what?)
Speaking well has been my aim,
Writing poems is my game,
If I can help to make words fun,
Then my work is nearly done.
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As your daughter, Susan puts it...the newspaper is grammatically written for a grade 8 level reader (there are so many functional illiterates in this country and in the states). And "How-to" articles and books are targeted at grade 6 level! You GP Wannabe you! Don't be dissing MY grammar!! (She'll get ya if ya try). Good rant! Bunny
Well, it seems that the English grammarian thing goes to the second daughter in each family. I spend most of my time reading business documents that are written at a level of grade eight or less. These are corporate businessmen yet it is impossible for them to write intelligently because they weren't taught the rules.
Now, the Dr. Suess comments....
Do you like green eggs and ham
I do not like them Sam I Am
I will not eat them in a boat
I will not eat them with a goat
I do not like green eggs and ham
I do not like them Sam I Am.....
Okay youse guys (yo, I'm from da Philly area), stop picking on poor Betty...it could be a *whole* lot worse. We could live in France and have to put up with words such as (Le) "hot dog" being more or less outlawed. :-) :-D Nice rant, Betty. hehe.
I never really ever, ever paid any attention to what people would say or write until I got my feet wet in trying to write on the 'net. Now when I read or write I seem to find all kinds of errors. I don't know if it wasn't there before, or if I just never ever paid any attention to it.Haw. Seriously I enjoyed you say here in! I do think that writing on the net and having people come back at me has made a better writer out of me. Good write. Deputy2, Samdavid1 and me!
Regarding the sad state of the English (Current) language, I couldn't agree with you more. What I find to be a huge issue is that even television and print advertising do not seem to have gone thru grammer checks or even spell checks! What does this say about the next generation that don't know how to spell or to add thanks to Word Processing and calculators? I really hope we can see a resurgance of popularity for good grammar. Who am I kidding, "not gonna happen". (That would be a "Bushism") Thanks for reminding me not to be sloppy in my grammer. Enjoyed the article, and really enjoyed the comments!
I have never stirred up such a hornet's nest in my life, and to think I almost asked Bob to withdraw this submission for me...he would have never asked us out, Bunny....see how good grammarians get rewarded (read drawn and quartered) The funny thing is I had just read about that "up with which I will not put" and had it quoted to me by Dear old Dad I am pretty sure but that Nina Blue has lots of good info on her site and she is very up to date....thanks for all the fun comments, we'll have to keep meeting this way (raised eyebrow)
Oh, the shame of it!!! Now I shall have to wear a paper bag over my head, and people will point and laugh at me and say: "There goes the girl whose sister is a grammatician (did I just make that word up or is it real), and is tooo picky to live!!!" So, now what do I do. Dad was a stickler on English, grammar and pronounciation....it has manifested itself in my own sister. Me, I just worry about trying to make sense (doesn't happen often) and hate it when someone uses $50.00 words when a 25 cent word would fit in as well and no one would have to try to figure out context! (I'm also a stickler about spelling (not typos, just proper spelling)...Good on ya, Boog, Love, Little sis, Buns
ahhh. Incidentally if you're not aware, Bob Church was quoting Winston Churchhill's reply to a newspaperman who asked him why he often ended sentences with a preposition... (Myself I usually try to end with a proposition.. Wha'cha doin tonight gals?)
Oh, Dear, I just read on "Why does she keep saying grammar and usage?" that some words that look like prepositions are not really prepositions as in "aware of", "originated from", and " meet with", now what are we going to do??? Please, Bob, don't read this next part, even "put up with" is okay at the end of a sentence. This is sure getting complicated!
I commiserate with the entirety of your pronouncements regarding this lofty, if not universally accepted, premise. The tendency of our society to dangle participles and express implied subjects with only the most moribund of attempts gives me cause to shudder! *gasp*
But, the worst of all occurs when some ignominious gaft-praddler attempts to conclude a sentence with a preposition. Such an ill-considered act of defiance is something up with which I will not put!!
Excuse me, I must repair to my laboratory. It's past time for me to have my tongue removed from my cheek. Adieu...
You guys!! I am just laughing so hard ! One guy I know told me to put the handcuffs on because he don't plan to talk gooder....I can see I have my work cut out for me here, you know none of you are guilty as far as I know, and I don't plan to check too closely. Thanks for reading and commenting, Betty
P.S. my problem is run on sentences or do I have to tell you that, it seems like you would have noticed by now , but then of course I don't write much prose and maybe that is why....
I sure don't feel that you should feel chastised, you do a great job of writing ! We all love to goof off and let our hair down now and then amongst friends, that is a different thing altogether, witness the challenge of Bunny's to speak like in another dialect...Will try your use of and versus but, good thing to think about, thanks, Beverley.
Well....Dr. Suess is an author who writes children's stories which actually assist children to learn. His books are very similar to the idea of repitition found in the old "Dick and Jane" school books which are no longer in circulation. His stories are also fun, as you mentioned. I realize this is a side line from your article and I still wanted to mention it.
As for language, I've been trained in a therapy which utilizes language and the precise use of words to (I call it) manipulate the client's way of looking at the world. An example is using the word "and" rather than the word "but" - and implies a joining while but completely emliminates the phrase which was said prior to it. Very simple, yet try it and you'll hear the difference.
I realize language is powerful and it has been used poorly with the media, which in turn influences how "we" use it in every day situations. Still, I felt slapped as I don't always watch what I say or how I say it when I'm not working. It's simply too exhausting to always be aware of every single word a person speaks. Sometimes I simply want to kick back, swear a bit, use slang and go with my accent...eh. =o)
(still, I understand the point you are making around language...)
Welcome !
