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On Line
Diana Johnson
Eric Gasparich
2 Writers

0 Free Members

2 Members
35 Guests

Trail of Tears
by Barry Clopton Lanier (Age: 52)
copyright 10-23-2004


Age Rating: 13 to 127

 
I dare not summon them,
Though so special to me.
At times I think I've shed enough,
To fill a vast dark sea.

At times they spill out on my pillow,
In the hours right before dawn.
Maybe regret or retrospect,
Times with a loved one now gone.

They are so warm and so salty,
As they make their way, down my cheeks.
Yet they comfort me when I'm sad or lonely,
Give me solace, when I'm so weak.

Should old thoughts, or new words pierce my heart,
I seek a silent refuge in haste.
And let my trail of tears,
Then start.

They are always so close to me,
Whether by night, or day.
They seem to know, exact the right time.
To wash my grief away.

Father time can't deny or lessen,
Their intimacy as I count off the years.
These dear friends of mine, oh how sublime,
That made up, "my trail of tears."


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10-29-2004 Chelsea Armstrong    

*smiles* I have a lot of respect for any man whom can openly admit to tears streaming down thier face.
This was a fantasic read for me Barry. So full of emotion and words that just take your breath away. I like how your words flow into eachother, and capture my attention. Great Job.
10-25-2004 Joan Jotz    

Barry,
Sounds like a very personal piece....one I can relate to.
Very moving and emotional, a strang bond with tears that none the less is very special to this character. Well woven and developed.

You may want to re-word the line:
"To wash all of my grief away."

"To wash away all my grief." (deleted 'of')

Also: ...I count of* the years.--> off?
I count off the years.

Nicely written, warm and sensitive.

Joan
Visitor Reads: 671
Total Reads: 686
Comments: 2

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