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This originally started out as poem for my creative writing class as a major project. It was just going to be like a couple of different poems in a sequential order of events and such. Only thing is, I couldn't stand writing something and not posting. I only had one poem written and the way things turn out, it didn’t seem finished. Like I only described one star in the Milky Way. I couldn’t stand having it end that way. So naturally I picked up my pencil and wrote a second part… Same turnout… I just couldn’t finish it in one or two poems. I got myself caught up in an epic of my life story and a war within me over hope and love. I’ve only been in two relationships in my life. My first one was in November of 1998. Obviously that wasn’t a real love relationship. I was only eleven and wanted to be like my older friends. It only lasted for about a week. Then my parents got divorced and I’ve lived with my mom since. When I turned 13 my mom started seeing someone else. I hated him and I think he hated me. Ever since then my life has been Hell. When I turned 14, I got this feeling where I wanted to be with someone. I just wanted to have someone I could care for affectionately, and the same for them. The way it happens, I was changing a lot, I’ve always been a little sensitive due to living with my mom, but this was different. I felt the need and longing to be with a girl. And for two years, I’ve looked for someone to love and them to love me. I moved a lot and that made it hard to get attached to anyone. And when I did stop moving, I still couldn’t find anyone. I lost all hope that I’d ever find someone… Soon before I turned sixteen, I subscribed to www.prose-n-poetry.com. I had never written a poem before, and tried writing one called “By My Side” in dedication to my friends. That was around May of 2002. Around October of 2002, my friend intr0duced me to a girl named Bridget. We really connected with each other, and in about a week, we started dating. This series is basically a story of these struggles I had in finding true love with Bridget. We are still together today. This just goes to show that nothing wonderful comes without severe trials of faith and honor in someone or something. These trials have made me who I am today. If my parents never would have gotten divorced, or my mom meeting her new boyfriend, I may have never met Bridget… I may hate my parents for getting divorced and my mom getting a new boyfriend, but I don’t know where I’d be if it never happened. The long periods between the two happenings along with my loneliness and non-belonging are defined as the cold darkness in the series. And my friends that are girls that felt sorry for me and tried to help me by trying to start a relationship are defined as the false hopes/lights. I’d like to thank everyone who has read and commented on any and all of my poems. And I’d like to thank you all for your help. You have made me a better writer than I was with my first poem. All of you represent the strength that was given to me in the series to push myself over and over until I found what I was searching for. Thank you all so very much.
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