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Picture Credits: BJ DeVera
Hello everyone,
Long time, no hear - eh? Please accept my deepest apologies for not keeping you all in the loop as they say. I guess my only explanation is that since she is talking and "awake" now... I am spending every moment I can WITH her and not any writing ABOUT her.
Let's start about a week ago Monday. I came in to visit and the nurse was bringing in some dinner - her first "meal" since this happened. On the tray was some fruit nectar, some pureed peaches, some vanilla smelling drink that someone thought was rice milk at the time, and Grandma said Aunt Ruth thought it could have been Ensure chock full of vitamins, etc.
On the plate there was wheat bread, liver, potatoes and gravy, and broccoli (all pureed of course in cute little balls around the plate). The nurse was more than happy to relinquish an extremely time consuming task, and I was more than willing to accept the honor. My employer later commented it was fitting that I am the one to feed her the first meal since she was the one that fed me MY first meal *smile*.
It went very slow and two hours later she had only eaten maybe 1/4 of what was brought. She would open her mouth slowly for each bite, and I would only load the spoon to 1/3 full. She was able to drink the nectar through a straw and her nurses were pleasantly pleased to see she had that ability. Her tube feeding was still going at its usual rate since she was only eating to exercise her muscles and get her body used to eating. She couldn't eat hardly enough to really get much nourishment out of anything at this point however.
When she was not eating, she was either paying attention to what I was talking about or what Bob was talking about since he joined us half way through the meal. Sometimes she'd laugh when a nurse would come to poke her finger to test her blood sugar and she'd pull her hand close to her and say "Nobody's Home". The nurses say she has a wonderful sense of humor... well, I could have told them that.
Anything she was trying to say at this point was extremely quiet and you'd have to lean in very close to hear it and watch her lips to read them when the sounds were barely audible. She was still getting really tired after only a few minutes of trying to talk, and her words seemed to come out nearly a whole minute or two after you'd ask a question or after she'd think of something to say. She really had to concentrate to get her thoughts vocalized.
On Tuesday she seemed exhausted and didn't speak much. She did apologize for everything's that's happened and for making everyone sad. I tried to tell her that if anyone was crying lately, they were most assuredly tears of JOY! She asked more about what happened and this time I told her a few more details... kind of like when a child asks where they came from. You don't give them the whole birds and bees talk but give them simple answers they can understand and that won't mar them for life. Later, when it's appropriate, you tell them whole thing - all details included.
Well, I don't want to scare her or depress her, so at first I told her that there was a dissection of the aorta (or that the tissues had gotten weakened and started to separate) which caused "complications" and "part" of her aorta had to be replaced. That's what I told her last time.
This time we got into more details about the aneurism, about her scar on her chest (which I told her not to worry about since nobody would see it unless she was showing too much cleavage.... she laughed), and we talked about everyone visiting her in the ICU and how for the first month she was never alone as someone was there at any given time - day or night. She said that Bob told her about everyone sleeping all around the floor of the waiting room and I told her about the other waiting room with cots. I want her to know the truth...but I don't want her feeling bad so as usual, I try to lighten it up a little and not seem so bad.
I explained that people are so very happy and impressed and encouraged to see all her progress and improvement. She said thank you, and she wanted me to tell Don's dad thank you...but she never did tell me why. When I asked she thought about her answer, but it never came. This happens sometimes and I found out later that there are times when she thinks of an answer, she thinks how to say it, and then thinks later that she really did say something...even though we never got to hear it.
I did not make it on Wednesday since there was a really bad snow storm when I got out of work. It usually takes me 20-30 minutes to get home and it took me 2.5 hours. I can't tell you how many cars and semi's I saw off the road, in ditches, and tipped over on my way home. To top things off, my wipers stopped working about a mile or two from home. It was really scary.
Just when I got home, I got a call from Aunt BJ and Grandma who were on their way up here and they spun out, they hit a guard rail, and their tire came off the rim and needed to be changed. I thought it was much more than that when they first called, like the rim and everything had been ripped off the car. Later my brother Bill spoke with them and found out (and later informed me) that all they needed to do was change their tire and that help was on the way for that. Apparently it took them over 9 hours to travel what normally takes just over 3 hours. I was really relieved to know they finally got to their hotel safely in Grand Rapids. What a time for a storm, eh? Someone once said, "If you don't like the weather in Michigan...wait five minutes" insinuating that it will change before you know it. How right they were!
That night only Bob made it up there to see Mom and apparently she really missed her visitors. On Thursday Aunt BJ and Grandma brought some food to my house and we stored it in my fridge. Then everyone met up at the hospital. BJ and Grandma made it first before Don, DJ, Gary, and I. Bob and Lonnie were there and Shirley, Jimmy, Nathan, and Jimmy Jr. showed up shortly after we did. It was a full house and it was great! I was the first one to leave along with Don and Gary - DJ wanted to stay and visit with Grandma (Shirley Ketcher) and BJ and Mom (Betty Overton)... all these "Moms" and "Grandmas" are going to get really confusing fast... I can tell.
I left to fix the dinner that BJ brought up. I added some homemade gravy (like my mother used to make) to the gravy BJ brought. Don made a couple pie crusts from scratch while Gary and I made the pumpkin filling. BJ brought up a can of yams, and I had a can of sweet potatoes... so I put them all together and guesstimated on what to add as I never made them with the brown sugar, nutmeg, cinnamon, marshmallows and everything. BJ said they were good so I gave myself a pat on the back. Gary made his first pot of coffee and we brought that and some pop along. Everything pretty much got done at the same time and then we packed it all up and took it up to the hospital.
The room next to Mom's is a conference room and the nurses had given us permission to utilize it for our buffet. By the time we got there, Lonnie and Shirley's gang had left as they had plans already for the day that they needed to attend to, but everyone that was left feasted and let Mom rest for a bit while we ate. Then we brought in some to share with Mom and she really liked the pie (and talked about it for a few days afterward). She also really liked the coffee that Gary made and we dubbed him our new coffee maker. He is pretty proud of that title and wants to make coffee every day now. :-)
BJ unveiled the gifts they brought from Illinois. Grandma (Shirley Ketcher) gave Mom a small soft doll dressed in purple. Grandma said it was perfect because if Mom fell asleep and rolled over, there were no hard parts that would be uncomfortable to lie on. Mom has named it her "Thwapper" because she can grasp it and hit whoever is out of line with a nice thwap. She's gotten me more than once and last night Don held me down on the bed so Mom could give me a real long and hard beating with that doll. She then announced that I had been "thoroughly thwapped". I really didn't think that was fair as Mom was supposed to me on MY side! He disagreed as he said he was her favorite son-in-law. I couldn't argue as he is her ONLY son-in-law! All she had to say is, "The Mom is always right. I'm the Mom. I win!" Ok... she wins! What can I say?
Aunt Ruth sent some Godiva chocolates and she wouldn't let anyone near them. Her fingers were holding both string handles of the bag and she meant business. You should have seen her eyes light up when she saw them. A kid in a candy store couldn't have opened their eyes with excitement or appreciation as much as Mom did. Aunt BJ gave her some pictures (one of my mother with most of her sisters, and one of BJ and her husband Sean) along with a really beautiful heart shaped purple keepsake box that's now on her nightstand. BJ also gave her some really soft and fuzzy purple socks and Grandma Ketcher made her some knitted slippers as well.
Well, we packed up dinner and sent some back with Grandma Ketcher. (I heard Grandpa ate the pie right away… yay!) We visited for a little bit after dinner, but Mom was really getting tired. BJ took some pictures and we all said Good bye and let her bed down so she could get some rest. BJ said it was the best Thanksgiving ever, and Grandma said she was really happy to have been able to come. Both were really encouraged by her progress and I don't know if I told them enough just how much they encouraged Mom and made her day.
The first time Mom really "looked" at us in ICU over at Blodgett was the day that Grandma and Kathy and Johnny came, and then BJ a day or so later. Now, when BJ and Grandma came it was the fist time she'd been SOOOO talkative (and talking in complete sentences) and staying awake for such a great length since the surgery. She was extremely alert and awake for a very extended period of time. You guys just don't know how much these visits encourage her to come out of her shell and communicate more and more. Thank you very much!
I was told that Aunt Kathy plans on visiting in January, and that Grandma and Grandpa Ketcher will try and visit in December as well as Leanna and Ray. You guys keep the visits coming! The nurse last night said that in every case of coma and recovery like Moms... it's the family support that seems to make the difference on how well the patient recovers... or if they recover at all. She said that with all the love and visits that Mom's getting, she'll be out of there in no time. OH!!! And guess what!!!! Mom fed HERSELF her lunch yesterday!!! Can you believe it? She's still on pureed food, but the nurse said that if she keeps eating as well as she is (she ate over half her plate last night)... that she'll be off tube feeding shortly.
ALSO....not to get gross or anything... she's now using a bed pan and can push the call light when she needs help with it instead of using the diapers. She's gaining more control of ALLLL her muscles and functions. We told her last night that once she learns to walk, she can use the bathroom. She started moving her legs back and forth and bending them all night after that. I think she's pretty determined to get off that bed pan as soon as possible. What do you think? LOL.
She told me last Saturday when I was alone with her that "the holes are getting filled in." When I asked her what holes she was speaking of, she said the holes in her memory. She cried a great deal trying to explain to me that there were holes in her memory and that it was so depressing when she realized she couldn't remember how to read. Then she said a couple days after that, she was able to read some things. She said she could remember many things from the distant past, but not always who visited her the day before. Then she said even that's getting better. I felt this was the appropriate time to tell her about her MRI and how there were many "spots" of inactivity. I explained how perhaps the brain waves are remapping around those spots of inactivity and are finding their way around now. I told her how her organs kicked in one by one and started working, and now its her brains turn. I told her it's been on vacation long enough and it's about time it started working again. Yes, I got thwapped for that one. :-)
Every time I have to leave, she thanks me for visiting. She wanted me to say a special thank you to Grandma and BJ for visiting so... Thank you! She told me she loved me last night which was the first time she said that since this whole thing happened and I could have crawled in the bed with her. Instead, I hugged her long and hard. She hugged me back!!! It was hard to go, but I knew she needed her rest and it was already a half hour past visiting hours. I'll go back again tonight and ask her if she ate any more of the Corn Bread Cake that Don and I brought her from Don Pablo's. She really liked it.
Her karaoke buddy Janina stopped by on Sunday and our Step Sister Beth (Lonnie Sr.s daughter by his first marriage) is planning on stopping by this Saturday. Some of Moms other karaoke buddies have been stopping in off and on, and yesterday her Bible Study teacher stopped in too with a plant and a card.
I do have to get going to work. I don't have time to check for spelling, so I apologize if this is not completely spelled correctly. I think you all know what I'm saying though. I will really try to write more often and keep you guys up to speed on things.
I love you all and please take care! Thank you for the prayers, the letters, the cards, and the visits.
- BrytEyz
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