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Sailor Moon's Really Weird Morning
by Andrew Findlay (Age: 37)
copyright 12-23-2004
Contest Winner


Age Rating: 7 to 127

  Sailor Moon's Really Weird Morning
Picture Credits:

Serena woke up screaming as she had done for the last week. Her forehead was covered in cold beads of sweat and her fingers clutched a well shredded pillow.
"Another nightmare sweety?" called her mom from the kitchen downstairs.
Serena fell out of her bed and bumped her head rather hard on her night stand. "No mom, I'm OK," she lied somewhat unconvincingly. Panic was evident on her face as she struggled to her feet. Her toes disturbed the feathers on the floor.
"Oh no," she wimpered as white feathers rose through the air onto the weak current of her air conditioner. "My poor pillow. How will I ever explain this to my mom. She's gonna be so maaaaaad." That's when the full memory of her dream hit her square in the meatballs of her hair.
"This new dream was worse than the last one," she whispered to herself, hoping no one had heard her.
"What was it this time Serena?" purred Luna, perched on the top of her book shelf.
Serena had a look on her face which was somewhere between fear and cake."I didn't see you there Luna. You're such a naughty cat being so sneaky!" she squeaked and she threw what was left of her pillow at her feline guardian.
It rained feathers for a few seconds and when the soft blizzrd finally subsided, Luna was no longer on her perch.
"Luna? Where did you go Luna?" Serena tiptoed through the feathers looking at her bookcase. She became almost entranced as she noticed one of her favorite Sailor V comics. Her head tilted to one side as she reached for her prized comic.
"Be serious Serena!" shouted Luna from right behind her.
Serena jumped about a foot in the air and she landed with practiced stealth behind a chair. She was almost in tears from the sudden shock."Luna...you're so meeeeeeean."
Luna sighed. Why couldn't Serena be a little more brave like the other Scouts? "Serena, You have to tell me what you dreamed. It could be important."
"OK, Luna. But don't laugh OK. It was really weird."
"I promise Serena."
Serena calmed herself down and sat in the chair which had so recently served her as an emergency shield. "It was different than the other dreams I told you about. Last night I dreamed that I was fighting a youma as usual, but then it put me in a trance and in the trance I was a normal girl, not Sailor Moon anymore. Then Raye slapped me really really hard and I woke up from the trance and then I was awake in the dream and then I fought the same youma that I was fighting before my trance," she rambled. "Oh yeah, and I think Melvin was in it too!"
Luna stopped herself from chuckling with years of experience dealing with Serena's wild imagination."I wouldn't worry Serena. It just seems like a normal dream to me. It doesn't make enough sense to actually be a message from Sailor Luna or anything important."
Serena stared off into the distance, still thinking about her dream. "But its just weird, y'know Luna. Yesterday I had that weird dream where I was in that Quantum Omega place. You remember?"
"Of course Serena," smiled Luna, desperately trying not to roll her eyes. "You were in a parallel universe and all the Scouts were there. There was a strange guy there dressed in black there named Mok. I remember Serena. You only told me yesterday."
"Yeah, and the weird part of that dream was that there was all this technical science stuff that I didn't understand. Everyone was saying strange things, but I couldn't understand a word. I was so embarrassed at one part of the dream where I had to a give a report to that Mok guy, but I didn't really know what I was talking about."
"Serena, you have to learn not to worry so much. A dream is just a dream..."
Serena leaned back in her chair and stared in deep thought at the ceiling. Well as much thought as she could muster anyway. "And what about the night before, Luna? That night my dreams were really weird. It was just me and this really sad looking guy in a room and all he did was read poetry to me. The really weird part of that dream was that the poetry wasn't even about me. All the poems were about Amy."
Suddenly Serena fell backwards and hit her head on the floor. She started to cry, not so much from the bump on her head as from what she had suddenly realized. It was something Luna had said. "Luna?"
"Yes Serena?"
"Did you say 'Sailor Luna' a minute ago?"
"Why would I say such a thing," Luna hissed. "You're imagining things. What I had said was 'Sailor Christmas'."
Serena began to sob and she slinked back behind the chair and propped it up in front of her to protect herself. "Oh no Luna! You're not making sense anymore." Tears were rolling down her flushed cheeks.
"Ohayo gozaimasu. Watashi wa Luna des. Onamae desu ka," asked Luna with a concerned look on her furry face.
"Luna, what language is that? Are you possessed or something?"
Luna approached Serena with serious worry in her eyes. "Serena, Vous etre peur. N'etre pas peur. Je suit ta chat, Luna? Vous comprends?"
"That does it," sobbed Serena. "I'm outta here." She gathered enough courage to run out of her room at top Serena speed. She raced down the stairs and was relieved to see that her mom was cooking breakfast.
"Mom, Luna is acting really weird. I think she caught rabies or something."
Her mom turned around and offered Serena a plate with three baked muffins on it. "Have a muffin dear. You'll feel a lot better."
Serena, not being one to pass up a free snack, snatched one up and stuffed it into her mouth.She spit it out onto the floor. "Mom! The muffin tastes like my homework!"
"Well," said her Mom smiling. "If you had finished your homework, I wouldn't need to bake it." Her Mom smiled and spun around like a ballerina. She danced out of the room balancing the remaining muffins on her fingertips.
"Mom?" sniffled Serena. "Now my mom is acting all weird. I don't know how much longer I can take this."
"Don't worry, I'll protect you," whispered a familiar voice from behind her.
She slowly turned around and there stood Tuxedo Mask, her love. "Oh Tuxedo Mask, hold me," she cried as she melted into his waiting arms.
"Serena," he whispered softly into her ear. "I have something to tell you my sweet."
"Anything Tuxedo Mask. I'm listening."
"There's a sale at the mall on cabbages this week," he whispered sweetly as if reciting a love poem. "Buy two, get one free."
She hadn't been expecting that. "Oh no, not you too!"
Tuxedo Mask only smiled and looked deeply into her pretty blue eyes. "Also, don't forget to eat your veggies and brush your teeth with watermelons."
"This is too weird," she said. Her knees shook so badly she fell to the floor in a quivering state of pure confusion. "This is just like my dreams.Have I lost my mind?"
Amy skipped into the room from around the corner. She had Angel's wings and was playing enchantingly inspiring music on a golden harp. "What makes you think you're not dreaming now Serena?" she sang in her perfect voice. She continued to play her melody on her harp as white doves flew through the room. Then she continued to sing her song..."If I were to calculate the colatteral matrices of the dynamic variables..." she sang. "Then the quantum state of the molecular substructure would seem to suggest a paradox of the third degree in seven different states of matter." She concluded her song and did a little curtsy. Tuxedo Mask applauded and threw her a white rose.
Serena looked more confused than ever. "Amy...what does that mean?"
Amy smiled brightly and a dove landed on her extended finger tip. "It means you're dreaming Serena! WAKE UP!"

Serena sat up sharply in her bed, her long golden hair flying forwards from the sudden and unexpected momentum. "Oh no, another weird dream..." she sighed. Her face was covered in tears as she looked at the clock on her night stand. It was eight in the morning and she was going to be late for school again.
Luna jumped up on her blankets. "You were crying in your sleep again Serena. Did you have another bad dream? You should tell me what it was. It might be an important message from Sailor Luna...or maybe Sailor Christmas."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Serena and she covered her head with her blankets and she rocked nervously back and forth under the covers...


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01-26-2006 Jordan Screws    

This is certainly odd... it sounds like our heroine had too much sugar to eat before she went to sleep. The insanity is incredibly funny, particularly Tuxedo Mask's remark on cabbage, his advice after and Amy's science talk. Where did you get the idea for this? It's quite funny and not too bad. However, I noticed a few grammar and spelling errors such as "blizzrd" and "forwards", but I am certain you will improve.

Another amusing tale steeped in questionable sanity, but I like weird humor like this. I hope you will produce more Sailor Moon stories like this one!


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