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On Line
Ana Maldonado
Frank Fields
Jordan Screws
Amanda C.
4 Writers

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4 Members
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Rainy day
by Lauren T. (Age: 14)
copyright 08-10-2005


Age Rating: 4 to 127

  Rainy day
Picture Credits:

I'm fealing down
Wearing a frown
I'm waiting for the clouds to go
The rain to go
The sun to show
The sky blue
The gray will undo.


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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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05-24-2008 Frank Fields    

This was written 3 years ago, right? You would have been 11. And even at 11 you took rhythm and rhyme and wove them simply, admittedly, into a very nice presentation.

Just a thought occurs: I'm not sure if you've thought about going back and editing some of these earlier pieces? I wouldn't. Leave them as they are, as a reference. Your current work is very much more mature, more polished, but still has the charm that these early pieces do. My opinion only, of course. ^^

Frank :)
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03-01-2007 Leigh G.    

This is a nice little poem, good work! I like your choice of picture, too. I've always been self-conscious about my poems if I think they're short, since I've become a real perfectionist with my poems, since they're a lot simpler than books... Good work on rhyming too, it's something I could never do! Erm, wait...that was a bad example! Too and do rhyme! Onward... Anyway my edits are as following:

The title should be, Rainy Day

The first like should be feeling, not fealing.

Personally, I love running in the rain. Only if it's warm rain though, if it's cold it's a little uncomfortable...Good work, keep writing!

Leigh of the Commenting Crusaders
Member of


11-26-2005 Elisabeth H.    

This poem is short and sweet and deserves a comment.It doesn't matter how short you write it,as long as it comes from your heart.Good job!
08-10-2005 Euna P.    

This is good...a few things though. 'Fealing' is spelled 'feeling'. I also think if you made it a bit longer and more descriptive in parts, like describing the sun or sky, then it would be really good.
08-10-2005 Anthony Lane Stahlhut    

This is a really sweet poem, but it would love for you to correct its flaws so that it could be better! Anthony
Visitor Reads: 401
Total Reads: 442
Comments: 5

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