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Lost!

by usprincess123
copyright 12-31-2004


Age Rating: 4 +

I'm lost, can't you see.
I'm suffering from a tragedy.
My life is going by quickly.
Please, someone help me!

I can't believe time has passed by.
I'm so scared, oh my!
Let's no longer be friends, break our tie
I didn't want you to die!






Visitor Reads: 869
Total Reads: 912
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        04-18-2006     Leigh Gilholm Fisher        

Glad to see that you can write dark and sad poems along with your usual pieces. This is a good poem ,and it's always painful to tell a friend that you need to part. It's even worse when you're good friends, or when you're pulled apart by the riff of the living and the dead. It's even worse when it's a lover, and you envisioned their death, but could do nothing anyway. To get back on track, this was a good poem, kind of short and could use a few more descriptions, but if you read over the grammar and fixed it this poem would be much better. I'm a huge dark writer and fan, so I enjoyed reading this.

May the divine darkness be with you,
Leigh of the Commenting Crusaders

        05-23-2005     Anthony Lane Stahlhut        

Lets no longer be friends, this is sad that someone would feel better if someone was not their friend! The poem is nice to read. I like the vagueness of this, it allows me to customise it for many problems! Another good write! Anthony

        04-05-2005     Esther T.        

i like thiis story i like this how you wrote it
the way you wrote it you were thinking real hard too get this poem
and when you think about books if in that book someone was lost you would copy it down
but maybe you read the book and you mikksed it
up i like the way you did that you might of read a book and did that
if you did it's a very good combination
but if you didn't i still like the poem nomatterwhat you did

        02-17-2005     Jenna Tramonti        

Great emotion in this poem. I feel "lost" all the time. Good write, only thing is that you should try to do as Ms. Jotz said, add more depth into your work. You could start by using big words; that's how I started.=. Just a suggestion!

Jenna T.

        01-18-2005     Jack Curson        

I am imagining that you were writing this out of some type of loss or pain. It is a very nice poem, but I think like the others that you need more description.



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