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Heather's Feathers
by David Pekrul
copyright 01-05-2005
Contest Winner


Age Rating: 10 to 127

 
I

There was a young lassie named Heather,
Who played on the beach in hot weather,
She thought it a sin,
Just dressed in her skin,
So covered herself with three feathers.

II

Remember the beach-babe named Heather?
Who covered herself in three feathers?
The boys were aware,
And started to stare,
So now she wears tight shiny leather.

The following is not a limerick, but it continues the story of Heather's Feathers

III

‘Twas a fine use of leather,
On our girl named Heather,
For the boys had to be on a tether.

But leather made Heather
Break out in hot weather,
So now she is back to the feathers.

Now, back to the limericks

IV

Our sweet northern princess named Heather,
Is hooked on a new kind of feather,
It is not from a moose,
It’s Canadian Goose,
So cozy in all kinds of weather.

V

Our Canadian Heather’s a Newfy,
Which to most of us sounds kind of goofy,
But to those from the “Rock”,
She’s the belle of the docks,
With her feathers all ruffled and poofy.

VI

Our Heather has moved to the prairies,
She’s tired of travelling on ferries,
She’s now wearing loafers
And chasing poor gophers,
Which makes her all sweaty and weary.

And now for the conclusion to our story

VII

Oh, Heather, dear Heather,
What became of your feather,
The last one you had left to dance in,
For the two had been sold,*
As the story was told,
And the last one was held up for ransom.

Some bikers in leather,
Kidnapped our dear heather,
And wanted ten grand to return her,
Let there be no mistake,
She’s a lovely ‘cheesecake’,
But I haven’t the money to earn her.

So I made up a plan,
‘Twas a bit of a scam,
When I told them I’d pay for my Heather,
So it must have been fate,
When I broke down their gate,
Took my Heather and left them the feather.

Now I have my dear Heather,
Who is plucked of her feather,
And I haven’t the money to buy one,
But she says it’s okay,
Says she likes it this way,
For the boys in town call her ‘The Nude One’.

*That's another story for another time.




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Comments on this Article/Poem:
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07-19-2006 Greg Kis    

I like the part when she got hot in the leather...like a butterfly she blossomed out of her cocoon. Like a butterfly she flies around without any sense of direction. Does her story continue?


06-08-2006 Mehrina B.    

I thought bawdy limericks were popular in the Middle Ages! Since when did our PNP commenters resort to such desperate measures? :D Just kidding!
That was a great write, David! Absolutely superb!


06-01-2006 Richard Reed Jr    

This Heather "girl" really gets around. How come I've never met her. On second thought, I think I have.

Good wit, good techs, good write

Good Luck,

Rich


05-12-2006 Leigh G.    

This is...interesting. It' original to say the least, I've never read anything like it before... And it certainly fits "odd humor." I'm not fond of Limericks myself, but in the long run this poem was good. I don't see any typos, and I hope you'll be a good opponent in the Odd Humor contest. :) Anyhow, before I gen any more sidetracked... Good work, keep writing.

Leigh of the Commenting Crusaders


05-10-2006 BJ Niktabe    

Oh Heather, where have you gone off to
Now that your feathers are off you
You know that chilly breeze
Will cause you to freeze
And then you'll be having to cough too

I think I have found you some duck down
Sorry, not white, but it is brown
And I have found four...
(one for the back door)
I hope you soon come back around


06-13-2005 Anthony Lane Stahlhut    

OK I wrote some to add to the series. Called it, "Under Heather's Feathers" ( a reference to, The Planet of The Apes)


06-12-2005 Mary -BrytEyz- Ball    

I've read your poem about Heather
Who went nude except for the feathers
I haven't a doubt
when boys were about
The feathers at least covered her nether!

And I'm sure they adored that girl Heather
and wished they could remove all three feathers
And if they had tried
I'm sure heather cried
Thus resorting instead to the leather


01-06-2005 Anthony Lane Stahlhut    

Good job. These are very nice. Thanks, Anthony


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