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Reality Sucks

by Walter Jones (Age: 69)
copyright 01-06-2005


Age Rating: 10 +

Dead of night screams of children’s fright
Child has already seen the results of daddy’s dream
Mother sprawled across the floor won’t tell him what to do no more
Shotgun now in his mouth all his brains are headed south

Night air is filled with sirens on the run coming for someone
Terror reign old story not worth a bit in the news editor choose
Beat cop walks the street looks at bloody little feet

Hard as nails this old man wraps her in his arms tight
Children services will take her on this a trouble night
From the pan to the pit this child is sent

Abuse and miss-use that is societies plan
Thirteen she’s got a real man
Sells her cheap

Beat cop cannot weep
Takes another drink
Cries himself to sleep






Visitor Reads: 1071
Total Reads: 1116
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        11-18-2007     Lauren Turner        

Reality does suck.
So many problems in the world.
Sometimes fantasy is so much better.
You protrayed how the world is such a fearsome place today. Great work.

        09-17-2007     Emily Garwood        

Title caught my eye as i was looking down the long list i guess i have a thing for reality now. This is well written and right down to the truth the bad thing is the truth and horror keeps growing rather than people to help stop it...thats the disgrace of our world today...not enough people care but ovbiously some do.. this is a brilliant piece of work with a powerful point to it and even if others say the ending is sad...reality sucks...like you said!!! keep it up...some people have to tell it how it is and you never know maybe what you write makes a differece or oneday will well done

Emy

        08-10-2007     Regina Pate        

my imagination is going crazy. i love it. great write good job thanks,

Regina

        07-31-2007     Chessie Hodge        

This is an excellent work. It's very powerful. I have to disagree with Leigh and say that I felt the ending was the strongest point. It just brings to mind how sad our world really can be. People don't like to think about things like this happening but if we don't nothing will ever be done to address the issues. Thanks so much for sharing this and keep writing!

~Chessie

        07-28-2007     Frank Fields        

I have to go with Leigh on this one. Even if she didn't precede me in these observational pens, my feelings would still be the same. Overwhelming grief and sadness at wrongs that can never be put right. I hate the ending. But only because after witnessing those horrid events, we think, "well, at least the child will be cared for." Only to have the grief compounded.

I didn't like it, either. But it is still excellent writing and well worthy of acclaim.

Frank :)



        07-22-2007     Leigh Gilholm Fisher        

Awww, you've been picked on by some damn picky critics! Firstly, I really love the long lines! They tell more of a story, make the poem easier to picture, and if you ask me gives it more impact. Your ideas are very good, and the title cough my eye. XD I didn't expect a high-quality poem at first, just some rantings about a person's negative outlook on the world, so that also made this a pleasant surprise. The ending wasn't as good as the beginning, but still a solid piece.

Great work! I really liked this!


Leigh of the Commenting Community



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