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Plam Pluk
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Cara J.
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Undying Love
by Roger Crique (Age: 51)
copyright 12-26-2005


Age Rating: 16 to 127

 
Like a flower with brimming petals, she was.
Like the first trickle of a raging river she was.
Such were her charms. Her tresses through my fingers I ran.
Her infectious laugh reverberated through my soul.
Her angelic gaze hypnotized me to the point of despair.

But then, unannounced, she left. She moved on to a different and distant land, where the pace was hurried and the hearts were cold. She was all grown now and could make her own decisions. But in this strange land, she struggled. She learned an old craft. She sold her smile and rented her laugh. Her ambitions grew, like the trickling river that once she was. This trickle became a voluptuous river that raged in secret quarters.

She found that everything that glittered wasn’t gold. She found that fame and fortune was not for everyone. After many years, she returned and knocked on my door. And so, I opened it. Her semblance was dried, like the leaves of autumn. Her gaze was tarnished by all she’d seen. Her charms had faded away with the youth of her years. But then, she smiled. I hugged her tightly and invited her in. I ran my fingers through her tresses. Her breasts, pushing against my chest, had lost their virginity.

She was no longer a raging river, but a stagnant pond, a distant memory of what she once was. But it didn’t matter. It really did not matter. She had returned. I held her in my arms. And then, when she laughed, I realized that she had never left. She had been diagnosed. There was no treatment for her. She was not going to slip away anymore. So I decided to consummate our love, not to let her go again. So we cuddled and we cried, under the covers of my bed.


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11-01-2006 Richard Reed Jr    

I have been in these shoes and I can relate to the narrator's story, tone, and feelings.
I have never stopped loving any of my friends
or lovers. I believe in a few things, but loyalty most of all.

Thanks for reminding me of these feelings and making them stronger.

Rich


12-28-2005 James Shammas    

By the way, I just realized that the title is quite intriguing and very appropriate: undying love for someone possibly dying. Great!

Jim


12-28-2005 James Shammas    

I can definitely feel the longing here, though I'm not sure I want more to be revealed or not. What was the diagnosis? Is the diagnosis a literal one? Where was she? All are elements of mystery that I'm not sure I like as they are or want to investigate more. Well written, though.

Jim


12-27-2005 Tiffany Forster    

-hands him a cookie-
-sniffles a bit-
I like it...sad, but I like it.
-sniffles more-
And I agree too.... you should be writing short stories.

Tiffany


12-27-2005 Brian Dickenson    

You have excelled yourself with this. The mind picture this painted for me was astounding.
I felt that I was standing by you as you opened the door.
It also awakened long forgotten memories.
Thank you for this.
Brian.


Visitor Reads: 304
Total Reads: 348
Comments: 5

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